OH, THE THINGS WE'VE SEEN, THE THINGS WE'VE DONE...

Our retirement has taken us in so many directions.  Royster has chosen photography as his retirement occupation. He's really serious with it, and has even given up his beloved 28 year old Harley Davidson to take on this love for photography.  He has an eye for a good picture, and takes some excellent photos.  Royster bought me a really nice little camera that has both manual and automatic settings to mess with, so that I can join him in this venture.  I'm really happy with it, as it takes excellent pictures, and, thankfully, not too many buttons  to do too much to get the picture I want.  I like to snap pictures of things that aren't likely to run away quickly.  And, for the record, these photos are mine! 

For the past year, we've taken on a "See America First" tour.  Admittedly, we've dipped into Canada to see what's there.  It's been totally worth it, as there is some of the most beautiful, unspoiled country up there that I've ever seen.  Though in September, the weather on Vancouver Island, B.C. was pretty nippy.  We were able to go on a bear tour to photograph bears, eagles, dolphins and whales.  We were not disappointed at all on any account.  We also stayed in a cabin at Tofino on Vancouver Island.  I was intrigued with the whole thing. It was all so beautiful.  The beaches were pristine, and there were things I'd never seen down here on the Gulf Coast. In the mornings, I'd don a coat, flip-flops and grab my camera to take pictures of tidal pools.  There were lots of sea anemones, starfish and muscles.  There were gulls, crows and ravens that had no fear of humans.  We did witness crows and ravens take advantage of a picnic basket that had been left for a brief time while the owners explored the beach.  What a huge mess the birds had left.  I have to chuckle at the birds, after witnessing what humans leave behind along the roadsides.

Also, in the past year, we've been from coast to coast; and it never ceases to amaze me that there is so much we take for granted ... things we just don't see on a day-to-day basis.  On our last trip, we "cut a circle" from South Dakota, Montana, Wyoming, Colorado, and New Mexico.  We've been there before, but we always see things we haven't seen before.  In every place we've been. I've always encountered the beautiful Ravens.  At Bryce and Zion, they've followed me around from station to station to get the crackers that I carry in my pockets; clearing the parking lots by pecking at fenders and bumpers of cars that had just pulled up.  As fierce as they look, they gently take the crackers from my fingers.  They will call  from 80' up on a dead tree to talk.  All a person has to do is answer them.  They will talk...tell all.  I feel very drawn to these beautiful avian creatures.

As we drove through the Tetons and Yellowstone, there were the beautiful elk and buffalo.  We bowed to their right of way.  Everyone should see this.  Again, this is stuff you just don't see while sitting at your computer, or at your local mall.

On one afternoon, we were blessed with buffalo commandeering the road.  We bowed to their  strength and ownership of the space.

I think we'll be heading east on our next tirp...or will we?  We'll be talking about this through Thanksgiving.  We've been east before, but there is a lot we haven;t seen....Maybe the upper east coast will hold more discoveries in the spring.

Between the two of us, we've taken thousands of pictures.  Some of the best are the wild life photos, but there are also candid shots of people, and the joy they experience daily.  I'll have to post some of those too.  In the mean time.  We're planning our next adventure.   

Television originally started out as a means of entertainment, and quickly developed into “entertainment with sponsors to pay for the air time”.  There was Annie Oakley telling us all about Wonder Bread with the red, yellow and blue balloons on the wrapper.  There was, “N-E-S-T-L-E-S….Nestle’s makes the verrry best, Chooooocolate!” Those ads prevailed, but they never interrupted the program too many times for very long.

However, I just saw several ads in a row that are aimed at people to make them unhappy with themselves, or to scare them in order to sell a product.  If you drink juices or sodas, your teeth enamel will soften and wear away, the ad tells you to buy a certain toothpaste to “prevent this”, if you must drink juice or soda.  Another ad showed a woman with spots on her skin…obviously altered in by the magic of photo-shop technology.  The kicker is that she was holding a Dalmatian puppy, to accentuate the dreaded “spotty skin”.  These ads start working on women as early as the age of 25 about their wrinkled skin.  Another ad brags that it can cover up your unsightly grey hair.  I have seen an ad that uses alligator images to promote skin moisturizers.  Yet another ad was simply the capper on my day.  ARE YOU PLAGUED WITH FEMININE ODOR?  Fine!  So, I have unsightly spotty skin….grey hair, and unwanted feminine odor.  I should be totally unlovable and must run out to buy all the products that will make me more desirable and lovable.

Since TV ads run about 9 min. for every three minutes of actual programming, television is no longer for our entertainment and/or education.   It’s all about how many sponsors will pay how much to place an ad that will draw consumers in.   There are the ads for drugs that include disclaimers that are longer than the ads for the product themselves. These ads claim to put you to sleep, wake you up, clear up your depression, sinuses, acne, give prolonged sexually activity, and/or fix your leaky bladder.  On the downside, these disclaimers say that you should be aware that any one of these products could cause symptoms that might give you unwanted brain tumors, unwanted facial hair, sleep walking / driving, and discomfort after more than 4 hours, tendencies to suicide, farts, fits and freckles, and possibly death.  What could the FDA be thinking to approve all of that crap?!!  Oh! …There it is … MONEY.  It’s marketing smoke and mirrors aimed at getting you to part with your money.  Obviously, they convince some people that they NEED this crap.

It used to be that doctors, lawyers and pharmaceuticals (besides Alka-Seltzer, Pepto-Bismol, Milk of Magnesia and Bayer Aspirin could not advertise on TV.  When the law was passed ; and I don’t know exactly when that sneaked up on us, it opened up a huge can of worms….or a Pandora’s Box.  The ambulance chasers just grind my teeth, and media that reports crazy claims…..”Coffee is bad for you!”….”No!  Coffee is safe now!”…. “No!  Coffee is GOOD for you,”  Some of the hysteria attempts are just downright hysterical!  One woman declares that the shape of hot dogs and bananas should be changed because 2 year olds can choke on them.  What about pickles?  What about using common sense when feeding your 2 year old?

Since we live in a country that allows Americans to sue anyone for anything, everyone seems to have to cover their assets.  Nothing is advertised that there isn’t a disclaimer included, or a long list of exceptions to the rule.

The food industry is totally busted on this smoke and mirrors advertising.  Everything is processed so much that there is little nutrition left in anything.  They aim and promote the unhealthiest foods at children.  Everything that they want you to buy is placed strategically at eye level, and they even psychologically map out your path through the store, so that, If you don’t know any better than to just go for what you have on your list, they will take you into the interior of the store, where they have the most expensive impulse items.  Meanwhile, you are their salve, and will pick up at least 10 unplanned items.

There are no more “Mr. Woods”, who drove down the street ringing a cowbell to sell his home grown vegetables;  no more local milk trucks, or local bread makers to deliver the freshest and healthiest foods.  You must go to a grocery store and follow their arrows to buy the product that will pay them (the grocer) the most to put on the shelves of that grocer.

I haven’t even gotten into the rant I have stored up about the “Free Sample” industry, which will send you a “free sample” if you pay for (via credit card) the shipping and handling.  If you don’t make plans to send it back (unused portion) within a certain allotted time, they will charge you $80.00 for the next monthly installment.  I do have to stop there.

Let’s just get real about this.  Squint your eyes and see through all of the ads, and then do what you know is best….and I wish it was just that simple.  Meanwhile, we are barraged with the sales pitches of today’s industry.  These days, we can record the programs we want to see, and either fast forward through the ads.  And, I think we can even record them sans the ads, which would be my choice.  Or, we can do what we used to do, and use the commercials to get up and do something else until the commercial is over.  That one always worked for me.

IT’S ALL ABOUT CHOICES WE MAKE

I love Morgan Freeman.  He has a spot on our Science Channel (Through the Wormhole) which explains so much about humanity and discovery of science.  Today, he made me think about people I am related to, grew up with, interact with daily, and am challenged by every day.  It keeps me alive and sharp…well, I hope sharp enough to endure the next two decades I’m supposed to survive.  Morgan asks, “What does it really mean to be alive?”  My answer to that is, “WOW!”  Energy flows through everything!  Just how minute are we, and where do we REALLY live, come from, etc.?

Suffice to say that Morgan asks some really deeeeeep questions, and makes a person think and wonder about why we’re here.  I do not pretend to understand quantum physics; but, I can only get so far with what he says before my ADD takes over…..and I SO admire people who can really understand any kind of physics …universes that lie beyond the farthest reaches of dark holes.  “The answers live in the hidden hearts of black holes.”  “Our universe may likely exist on an ever-growing tree of life.” Are you with me Phil?
To start with, we can choose to question everything and everyone we encounter.  Here are a few things we truly CAN choose.

Choose to:

         1. Study hard to make good grades
       2.  Ask Questions and listen to others
       3.  FINISH school
       4.  Go to college
       5.  Learn to save and invest your earned money to match what you want in life,
       6. Participate in life
         7. Volunteer
         8. Be kind to EVERY one – EVERY day.
         9.  Like what you have and have what you like
      10.  Choose to be happy every day!  You are in charge of your own happiness.
      11. CHOOSE not to judge others, even if you HAVE walked in their shoes.
      12. Realize that we can choose, and so can everyone else.  Who IS everyone else?
        13. Play a musical instrument, even if it’s consists of two, pencils pounded on a desk top.  Oddly   enough, this is something I understand.
     
These are only a few thoughts that flew through my consciousness today that might make my life more organized, if not just a bit more simple.  Morgan has posed so many questions, that I can only believe that the universe has a brain, and thinks for us…every atom, every particle….

THAT CRITICAL SNEEZE

Sunday morning I had poured myself another cup of coffee and made half an open-faced peanut butter sandwich for Hank. No, not that the dog is spoiled at all; it’s just a trick. His pain pill is underneath the peanut butter. As I was walking back to the bedroom to give the special sandwich to the dog, I felt a sneeze coming on. This was going to be a Lu-Lu, and I was already walking over the living room carpet. I paused, crossed my right leg over the left one and braced myself for the explosion. It was indeed a big sneeze, but I was successful in maintaining the peanut butter and bread in my right hand and the coffee cup in my left hand … all without spilling a drop, or depositing the open-faced peanut butter sandwich onto the carpet. And, HAH! No leak! I’ve become very good at this. All of my contemporary women friends will know what this means.

Another scenario would be when you are shopping at the local grocery store and you hear someone close by start to sneeze. You look up and see a woman close to your own age, (Baby Boomer age), and you know what’s going to happen. The woman has crossed one leg over the other and bends at the waist while holding on to the basket. AaaahhhhCHOOOOOOOO! A violent sneeze erupts. The woman straightens up and continues on. She is actually smiling as though nothing has happened or maybe that she’s fooled someone. Let the shopping continue.

Let me tell you, plenty has happened. I could tell you in stages. First of all, she’s had at least one or two big babies. She’s probably in her 40’s or older, has worked at a desk for the past 20 years and the muscles in the floor of her abdomen have weakened significantly. Denial has taken its place in admitting that there could be a leaky bladder control problem due to prolapsed innards. This is not uncommon at all, but most women prefer to just say nothing about it. Who are we kidding anyway? This happens to men as well. I’ve just never seen a guy go through any contortions trying to keep from “loosing it”, except for maybe his hand in his pocket.

When I finally admitted to my doctor that this could indeed be a problem, if not a down right embarrassment, he recommend that I "just do these simple Kegel exercises". He told me that these can be done anywhere, at any time. You just contract your PC (pelvis cavity) muscles until they get tired, and then repeat the exercise. The doctor told me that these muscles are a ham hock-like muscle. Well, that just gave the whole situation a whole lot more dignity, and made it harder for me to keep a straight face, now that I have that image. When I do the exercise, I can just envision a ham hock down there. The doctor was quick to correct me.

“It’s hammock-like, not ham-hock-like.”

These exercises are easier said than done. First of all, these exercises require a certain amount of concentration, and if you’ve ever observed anyone thinking very hard about something they are trying to do physically (especially if you can’t see what they are doing), it’s a dead give away.


I tried doing these contractions while driving down the road, caught a look at my face of concentration in the mirror. What a hoot! Didn’t know I could make such faces. After a while, I decided against doing these exercises while driving, when I imagined getting pulled over. Actually, I decided not to do them in public … ever!

Sorry officer. No, I’m not in pain. I was just doing some Kegel exercises, and I must not have seen that stop sign.

They (doctors) say there is a very simple office procedure to remedy this. They can actually string it back up where it belongs. It would permanently fix this leaky problem. However, there are no office procedures any more. First you are sent to a urologist, who then sends you for a battery of tests, and more specialists. When they’ve finally exhausted all extra curricular examination, they will schedule you for out-patient surgery. I've also seen a number of ads about medications for this.  Have you seen/listened to the disclaimers about these medications?  It;s enough to give you a bowel problem.  So, I'm calling my trusted OB/GYN to see what she says about this.   Enough about that part. I’ll expound on that at a later date.

Okay, back to the critical sneeze. Now that you know what’s going on when you see a woman standing in the middle of a room, one leg crossed over the other and doubled over; your job is to turn your head and pretend that you just don’t see it. OR, you could just nod at her acknowledging that you’ve been there and done that.

Well, I guess your reaction to that vision just depends … Yikes! That just sent a chill up my spine! NO! I don’t wear Depends yet…………………… Yet! And, YET is a very big word.
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STILL GOOD TO GO!

As I woke this morning, my thoughts first went to the usual mind ruminations of the morning.  What time is it?  What day is it?  What is the date?  What’s scheduled?  Oh yeah, I paid Christmas bills yesterday…..Royster has an appointment this afternoon for the dentist.  I need to go look at a dress for a wedding.  Pick up prescriptions.  My eye doctor appointment has to be rescheduled.  It’s trash day…get it out to the curb.  Too cold to work in the yard … leftovers for dinner tonight.  The day awaits something new.

Royster woke early and went upstairs to his office.  I sat up and placed my feet on the floor.  After all of those waking morning thoughts trampled through my head, the thought occurred to me that I’m 64 years old…I’m upright, bleed when I’m cut, and can still cast a full shadow….so I must be fine.  I don’t hurt anywhere, and I have everything I need for the day.  I’m still good to go!  I smiled at this wry thought.  You’ve put yourself through a rough mill, old girl, but have always dodged the worst of it.  I’m still good to go!  I stood and padded to the bathroom.

I wondered what was in store for the day, daring not to project too far into my future.  I’ll just take what’s on my plate for today, Lord…Help me put this day to good use …. do a kindness for someone today.

The past several weeks seemed so long ago already.  I found myself unable to stop thinking about the recent past dramas and joys, all mixed in a strange potpourri, I decided to review the last few weeks…starting just before Thanksgiving.  Actually, it started months before, while we made plans for The Royster’s retirement and the big Retirement Vacation out west.  Things were getting close, as we had planned to start this vacation on January 5^th.  I decided to get some things tied up prior to this.  Getting a check up in order to have all of the age appropriate meds in hand while we’re on our big vacation was at the top of the list….an eye doctor visit was optional, but there was a distinct feeling that I needed to make sure I got my vision checked.   I called my “provider clinic” and made all of the appropriate appointments, and an unplanned appointment with the eye clinic there.  Strangely, I got an immediate appointment for the next day.

Somewhat apprehensive, but in a bit of denial that there was anything more than just an adjustment in my contact prescription; I sat in the examination room, eyes fully dilated and waiting for the doctor to come have a look.  Dr. Patel was a beautiful young woman.  She was friendly, but at the same time very professional and thorough.  As she flashed the light into my eyes, she kept going back to look at my left eye.  I must have squirmed a bit, because she apologized for the discomfort the light was causing, and said that there was something there, and that I needed to have a specialist look at it immediately.  There was no way I could go that afternoon, so after some phone calling, an appointment was arranged with a retinal specialist in the medical center down town for the next morning.  Roy came home early, and we fretted together about what could possibly be there in my left eye.

 We arrived early at the retinal specialist’s office……….Every kind of test was run, pictures taken, ultrasounds, MRI’s, PET Scans through my clinic.  Finally, the thing in the back of my eye had a name.  There was a malignant melanoma in the retina in the back of my left eye.  How could this be?  Since I had had lung cancer before (8 years ago), I was examined for any cancer anywhere else in my body.  The good news was that there was no other cancer found anywhere else.  I was told that there was nothing I did to have caused this.  “Sometimes these things just happen.”  The doctor said.  I was sent to the go to man in the field to be treated.  The same imaging was repeated through his office.  By all rights I should still be glowing with radiation just from the preliminary imaging.

 

I was offered two scenarios of treatment.  One involved surgery to sew a patch of radiation on to the tumor…left on for a week, and another surgery to remove it.  It wasn’t new, but it had proved successful.  That just hurt thinking about it.  The second scenario was a relatively new procedure called a CyberKnife.  It was relatively painless, and a one-time treatment.  It involved making a mask to hold my head still and in place for a radiation laser to literally kill the cancer cells.  I chose the latter, CyberKnife treatment.

 

We had asked Dr. B. if we should cancel or post pone our vacation plans.  He said that the recovery time was only a couple of days, so the treatment was scheduled for January 3^rd … just two days before we were to leave for our vacation.   That having been arranged, I was oddly ready to get on with the Thanksgiving and Christmas preparations and celebrations, and tried to put off thinking about the cancer and the radiation treatment I would soon be having.

We went to Fredericksburg for Thanksgiving and enjoyed the festive shopping, photo ops and good food.  After a couple of days, we headed home to make preparations for Christmas.  We set up a Christmas tree outside on the deck, and decorated very little inside.  Got all the out of town mailings done and celebrated the season with friends.  Christmas came and went, giving way to the New Year.  My surgery date was ironically on my 64^th birthday, on January 3^rd.  I was ready.

I slept very little the night before the CyberKnife surgery, and after a brief snooze in the early hours, I woke with a bodacious headache and nausea.  There was not a chance I was going to let that keep me from this life-saving surgery.  I was sick for the entire hours’ drive to the CyberKnife clinic, and continued to throw up my toenails until they finally gave me an Oxycontin for my nausea, and then a Vicodin for the headache.  By the time they had me in a gown, I was pretty much like a silly beanbag.   I was no longer nervous, that is, until they shot my eye muscles and optic nerve with the anesthetic.  That hurt like hell.   And after one more round of MRI and CT scans before the surgery, they put the mask on me and buckled my head to the table; and I was left alone in the room with the robot that would shoot radiation via laser to the tumor in my eye.  A voice spoke to me over a speaker to announce that the laser would start and continue for about an hour.  I was to remain positively motionless for the duration (like I had a choice).  Let the cure began!  The procedure itself was painless, but none the less nerve-wracking.  After what seemed like an eternity, a cheerful voice came over the speaker again to announce, “All done!” 

Suddenly, there were people around me unbuckling my mask, and setting me free.  They raised me up and helped me into a wheel chair to a dressing room.  I don’t remember if I had help dressing, but before I knew it, I was being wheeled down the hall to Roy, who was waiting for me in the hallway next to an examination room. It was over, but I’d had so much adrenalin built up, there was nowhere for it to go.  All I could do was bury my face in his goose down vest and sob tears of release and relief.  It was over, and all I wanted to do was to go home and sleep off the rest of the pre-surgery happy meds.

 

The work of the CyberKnife was a success.  The cancer cells were zapped and are dead.  The tumor itself will shrink gradually.  I did not lose any vision at all, and I can still wear my contacts.  All is good again….and once again, I’m upright, bleed when cut and can still cast a full shadow.  I’m good to go.  We left on our vacation at 5:30 on January 5^th.  Westward hoooooooo!