What is this world coming to? Never thought I’d be asking that question, but people are becoming push-button zombies in a push-button world with a push-button mentality; and we are fast becoming a nation of people with deformed thumbs and no voices. We are regressing!
We have a friend that we haven’t seen or heard her voice in 5 years. No, no, I take that back. We did run in to her at her job at a restaurant a couple of years ago. She had this frustrated look about her…..like she couldn’t speak, and her eyes were glazed and sunken in. I noticed too, that her thumbs had become a bit deformed. They were bent at 90° angles, like those little hammers inside a piano that strike the cords. Eventually, she did get something out. “Where have ya’ll been, and why haven’t you come to see me?” Her speech was very uneven and stilted. She acted nervous, and kept reaching into her apron pocket to have a look at her cell phone. After breaking into a cold sweat, she abruptly excused herself and disappeared into the kitchen.
A couple of minutes later my cell phone rang, and then Roy’s cell phone rang. We looked at each other, and then checked out our phones. This is something I don’t usually do while dining out, because we consider it rude to talk on the phone while dining or walking through the grocery store. This was an exception, because we both suspected that we were in receipt of a text message. Sure enough, we each had a text message from our dear friend in the restaurant kitchen. We both looked up to see her with cell phone in hand, peeking out of the swinging kitchen door looking very expectantly at us. She only has thumbs for us.
We both have the texting capabilities on our cell phones, but we don’t pay for the service because we don’t want to text. So, every time we open a text message we are charged something like 20¢ each time we opt see a text message sent to us. We have called her and left voice messages for her that we are not texters. We’ve e-mailed her personal notes. I will say, that she has quit sending us e-mail instructing us to “Forward this to 300 of your closest friends if you love Jesus.” And “Strawberry Shortcake says to pass this I heart you message to all of your girlfriends!” Haven’t received a MAXINE e-mail in a while, either.
I broke the rule first and read the message from her. “Wer have u guys bn? y hvnt u ansd my txt msgs? Iv bn worried sik abt u. wut hv u 2 bn up 2?
I swear that she motioned us to text her back. I’d already crossed the line by opening the text message to read, so I just shook my head and motioned for her to come out so we could order our dinner. After a minute, she came back to our table, and then proceeded to fumble for her order pad and pencil. Her poor thumbs had lost their ability to assist her in the physical act of writing with a pen or pencil. After what seemed to be an eternity, she wrote down our order and disappeared into the kitchen once again.
About 15 minutes later, our cell phones were ringing again. Roy read that one. It said “Fris or rngs?” He cupped his hands at his mouth and yelled “FRIES!!!!” His phone rang again, and the text read, “drsng?” He again cupped his hands at his mouth and yelled “RANCH!!!!” Ten minutes later, our dinner arrived. We saw her peeking out from the kitchen again. She finally brought us our dinner. Everything was there, and she smiled and said:
“wl tht b al?”
