LILLIAN MILLS
The Help
Soon after we’d arrived back in Fort Worth, and I was over the chicken pox, I started snooping around the big house at 1407 Grand Avenue. Our sister, Claire painted the picture of the house that you see here.
Let me tell you, there was a LOT to see! There were all kinds of closets and drawers for children to investigate. Munnie soon learned that if I wasn’t in sight, then she’d better find me. Normally, Anne and I hung around together, but I was just enrapt with all the interesting things I was finding. First, we found the hidden drawer in the bottom of a vanity/dresser. It was full of costume jewelry as well as some dentures that Granddad had had made up (down at the funeral home) of used teeth fitted in plastic gums of pink, brown or even black. They often went to what Munnie called Tacky Parties. I found out later that this is where they would dress up in all sorts of costumes and get-ups. Granddad would pick a pair of dentures to enhance his costume. I did get to see them once, on their way to a Tacky Party. Anyway, The way I learned about those dentures, was that Munnie caught me snooping, and fussed at me (just a little), and then explained the dentures to me, as well as letting Anne and me play with some of the costume jewelry.
There was a big cedar lined closet in the “middle bedroom” at the top of the stairs. It had some of Munnie’s furs in there. There was an Indian princess costume with beads and fringe on it that, I think Aunt Ollie made, and a HUGE scrapbook with newspaper comics pasted in it. I don’t know what ever became of that book. Even then, I thought that scrapbook must have been ancient. There were some nursery rhyme blocks in there, and I think Bryan has them, unless he’s traded them with another of our siblings.
One day, after I’d snooped in just about every corner of the big house, I was wondering what other treasures I could feast my eyes on, and then in walked Lillian Mills. I wish I had a picture of Lillian to show you. I can still see her in my mind. She was a slender black woman, and I’m guessing that she was in her late 40’s, and probably looked a little older than her years. She had mahogany skin that was slightly lined around her eyes, and gently graying hair, straightened and kept at a medium length and smartly styled. She was what Munnie called (besides calling her Lillian), “The Help”. She had on a crisp gray and white uniform dress that buttoned up the front, with a crisp, white apron.
I made Lillian my very best friend, following her about her chores until Munnie had to stop me. “Uh….Little Missy….. We don’t make friends with The Help!” “You just leave poor Lillian alone so she can do what she came here to do.” That only deterred me a short while until I’d happen upon Lillian again, vacuuming or cooking, and I’d latch on to her again. She was very sweet to me and explained everything she was doing. “You’re a sweet little girl, but Ms. Shannon, Yo Grandma, sho ain’t gonna like you in here.” And, “I’m ironing your Granddaddy’s khakis. He likes ‘em with a sharp crease in ‘em.” I wondered (out loud) as I sat on the tall stool watching her wash dishes, how she could put her hands in that hot water. “Just used to it, I guess.”. Anyway, Munnie caught me again and sent me on my way.
After a while, I found another way to catch up with my newest very best friend, Lillian. It hadn’t taken us very long to find the back stairs. This was just fascinating! You could actually go up the stairs, through the middle room, the room over the garage, and find the back stairs in the hall way. These magic stairs would take us back down stairs and into the garage. You could either go back into the house through the kitchen, or the other way, into the laundry room and/or into the meat locker room. Much later, as we got older, we would find these back stairs very beneficial.
At any rate, Lo and behold! I’d found Lillian again in the laundry room; washing and ironing. Soon, she’d helped me up to sit on the washing machine to talk to her while she ironed. She usually had a filterless cigarette hanging from the corner of her mouth (I think it was Pall Mall’s) when she was ironing. She starched just about everything; Granddads shirts, his khaki’s, our uncle’s jeans and shirts and absolutely everything got ironed….starched or not; Sheets and pillow cases and even Granddad’s boxer shorts got ironed.
I think after that, Munnie gave up on trying to keep me from following Lillian around. Lillian didn’t object, and it didn’t keep her from getting her job done. I watched her every move, and I can actually say that she taught me to iron. I also watched her make her peach cobbler on more than one occasion, and I’ve since been able to duplicate it. It’s the best!
In the laundry room was a HUGE double sink of galvanized metal. Anne and I found it very useful when we’d been playing in the mud….making mud pies along the side of the house. We just got covered in mud ….. just caked with mud ….glorious mud!; and we decided that the best thing for us to do would be to fill those double sinks up and get in them to get the mud off. We did just that, right up to our necks in those giant sinks. That didn’t do much for keeping us out of trouble for making such a mess along the side of the house. We got in trouble for it because there was so much mud in those sinks, that it stopped up the plumbing and a plumber had to be called to fix it. I think they knew not to blame it on Lillian.
I don’t know whatever became of Lillian, but she just quit coming. I asked Munnie why Lillian didn’t come any more, and she said that Lillian was sick, and would die. I was heart broken. As little girls do, I asked her “Why?” again, and she told me that Lillian had syphilis, and that she was dying. That just broke my heart. I asked Munnie once again “Why?”, and she said, “All the Niggras have it.” Now, Munnie was never cold or uncaring. I know she cared deeply about everyone. She was the thread that held us all together. I just don’t remember her ever sugar-coating anything. I didn’t know what syphilis was, but it sure made me sad again. Later I found out that it was a government experiment with syphilis, and I wondered how they could do that to another human being.
I Think of Lillian often, and what an impact she had on me as a 5 year old girl. And I wonder what my life might have been had not moved from St. Louis to Texas. I've thought of how my persona would have developed had I not met the gentle and kind Lillian Mills.
