EMOTION ASSIGNMENTS

EMOTIONAL ASSIGNMENTS

I always thought that anger was a wasted emotion as it didn't serve to help us in any way.  Some would say that it helps to get our frustrations out.  That may well be, but how does one channel anger when it takes such control.  It makes everything else we know and feel confused, and logic seems to be shoved into a corner.  Someone or something has occupied our mind with a negative signal that just rages though us. How utterly uncomfortable when rage reaches out to harm people who have done us no harm.  Certainly this emotion needs to be validated in some way.  

I see people dissatisfied with what is within their paths, comfort zone.  "How dare they defy my own train of thought, deny me what's MINE!"  We forget that we are not all alike, and yet, we seem to want the same things; comfort, food, shelter, harmony.  Sometimes anger takes over all other emotions.....and for many of us leading us down a really bad  path, resulting in group shark frenzy, rage, fury, almost a thirst for blood.  "You DEFY my orders, my authority, my needs?"  And a riot ensues.  I don't believe riots are good for anyone.  

I believe  peaceful protests are good, without weapons, and without blocking public roads and streets.  How in the world would an ambulance or police get to you if you are injured?  And, I believe mass mailings to our public servants (Mayors, Governors, Presidents, etc.) will make a difference.  There are so many venues for this. They are our public servants. They want to keep their jobs, and they want to be re-elected.  

I see unbridled rage and anger every day on the news and rude, thoughtless behavior of people who seem to have on blinders to anyone else in their path.  I see their negativeness and their brutal destruction of their own towns and properties. But on the other hand I have witnessed huge kindnesses of people who have compassion for others.  There should be more of this from all of us.  I do catch myself being judgmental, when I should be much more objective.  I don't know their story.  I believe the media deliberately stokes anger in all of us just for a story.  They want to keep the public watching, so it has become a "one-upmanship" enterprise to keep you watching what each media has to say.  

I don't have much of a temper, and usually just stuff it (anger) down.  Anger is a very uncomfortable emotion for me.  So, I'll continue looking inward to validate my own anger, try to channel it in a positive way, and then LET IT GO! I don't live there any more.  Help me to do good for all instead of being judgmental.  Let me be a person I admire and can be proud of. Help me be kind and understanding of others.  I must move on and, I have better things to do.  

GROUNDED

(Covid 19)

I really can't complain about anything.  We're lucky to live out in the country, with polite and caring neighbors.  We have five neighbors, and we congregate in the dirt road that runs in front of our house to visit....socially distanced, or at safe distances on the porch.  This dang Covid 19 has everyone afraid, and social distancing and masks are the norm.  

We take a ride daily, if only to get a loaf of bread at the store.  Royster goes in  From 7:00 a.m to 8:00 a.m. every day is Old Folks Shopping at Smith's.  Everyone is politely distanced at 6' and masked.  Puck and I stay in the car.  I could no longer navigate a grocery store or any other establishment to find anything, as I have not been in any of these establishments in three months.   I will not go to any medical facility unless it's a dire emergency.  I am considered "High Risk", as I'm old and have a respiratory issue.  So far, so good!  There is one doctor that is pestering me to go get a cat scan because, according to him, it's been 17 years, and it's time. I'm pretty sure he was just drumming up business.  He couldn't give me a good reason for it, so I politely declined with, "Are you crazy?!  No!"  I think I hurt his feelings.

Staying at home has it's merits.  We've found more time to do the things that make us happy, plus a big task going on in the back yard on the mountain.  As usual, my beading makes me happy, and I can get totally lost in it, meditating and molding a beautiful piece of art that speaks volumes of my moods and surroundings.

The large project in the back yard is a big wall made of railroad timbers to hold back the mountain erosion behind the house.  It's really a huge undertaking, and it actually looks good.  I will be planting seeds of hollyhocks and sunflowers in front of this wall.  

Our little garden on the hill is coming right along, with a couple of kind s of green beans, tomatoes, onions, yellow squash, zucchini, cabbage, and rhubarb occupies a prominent place in the garden.  We've found a great deal of satisfaction in growing our own veggies.  And, yes, they do taste better than store-bought.  Royster made us a "Tomato Garden" in 10, 5 gallon buckets next to the driveway.  It's tomatoes, peppers and lettuce.  This makes it easy to just go out and pick a salad for dinner on any given night.  

We had some much needed rain, interspersed with a bit of hail yesterday.  Puckster loved it, and stayed out in the middle of the back yard until the hail started.  After the rain and hail, he ran down to join his buddies Bob and Daney to go play in the mud in the river below us.  He has no shame, but he's usually cleaned up enough by the time  the sun goes down to come in the house, at which time he sits in the kitchen and mumbles at me.  Apparently this is our time for "conversation".  He mumbles at me, and I mumble back.  He really is a good conversationalist.  This volley goes on until dinner is ready, when he waits patiently and attentively for anything to fall or perhaps something gets tossed his way.  He's a good catch.  Never misses. 

The river below moves on and the beavers build again.  The rainbows out my kitchen windows are spectacular, and I miss our kids and grandchildren.  I wish they were here.   All the grands are grown, and going to college, getting married, and living their own lives.  Life is good on our mountain in the Taos Canyon, and the beat goes on and on and on.

OLD THINGS AND STUFF

Old stuff and things keep our memories churning and connected with the past.  Items with sentimental value and finds in the dirt, flea market finds and gifts from friends.  All these things have huge value, and not necessarily monetary value.  I believe that China and silverware should be used daily…. not just saved for “special occasions”.  After all, every day we live is a special occasion that is to be celebrated.  It helps keep a person young.

The above sideboard with the marble top had a matching table that was handed down from our family in the north.  The vague inscriptions say that it was made in Massachusetts in the early 1900’s.  The table sat 13 every night for a long time. It has since been handed down to family members to keep safe, and hopefully they will use it.  I passionately believe that people should use these old heirlooms.  They are not just for looking at.  However, the China doll is comfortably sleeping in a cedar chest between some blankets.

The older we get; it seems that we recognize the value of old things that we have accumulated over the years.  We also finally realize the value of these things and manage to fit them into the motif of our daily homes and lives.  I don’t know about you, but I certainly appreciate them more than I would have 50 years ago.  It doesn’t matter how “modern” the décor in your home, there is always a place for these old items.  They become a part of our lives and are subject to being conversation pieces…. therefore, stoking more memories and desire to have more of these “old things” around us. 

Several years ago, I went into a re-sale shop in a Houston suburb just to see what was in there.  There were two wall tables that had been decoupaged with aluminum foil, and SURPRISE one had brass claw feet. Upon further scrutiny (turning them over), one of them was a Duncan Phyfe table.  I took them home and stripped them down.  It took a week of working to gently remove the aluminum foil and strip the wood down, both revealing beautiful mahogany, which I restored.  I still have these little wall tables.

I’ve found myself looking for “old things and stuff” everywhere; up on the hill, digging in our vegetable garden, in resale shops, etc.  I found a penny in the garden that’s so worn that the date cannot be read.  It just sits in the kitchen window.  There was an old log cabin up on the hill where the vegetable garden is now.  I have no idea of the age or the history of that cabin. It’s been gone a long time. There is an old structure that has remained intact up there; and we’ve had a look.  Turns out it’s the outhouse that was several feet from the old log cabin.  It’s a two-holer.  What a find!  No telling what else is up there. 

I read that during the Civil War, in the south, people would throw their valuables in the outhouse to hide them from the marauding soldiers that came to pillage the homes.  I doubt that’s the case with this little outhouse on the side of a canyon mountain in Taos, NM.  Probably just some timber rattlers, which would discourage anyone from digging around there, much less placing their delicate rear-ends over the holes in there.

I’m intensely curious, and in the meantime, I’ll just keep looking for Old Things and Stuff because there is value in all of it, and so much to learn.