Monday, March 3, 2008


AS PARADOXES GO

I don't remember exactly how long ago it was when people started asking me about, or just commenting on how fast time flies by as you get older. It is a true paradox. Now, this to me was a sign that, since I thought of these people as old, and they're prompting me with this bit of paradoxical information; then these people were looking at me as if I could identify with it. Therefore, they must have recognized that I was about their same age or older. So, I guess I do qualify as older. I have also talked to my siblings and peers about this phenomenon. What I have gleaned from these conversations is this:

When we are young, we just can’t wait for Christmas, Easter, summer camp, the circus and summer vacation from school. All of those wonders are full of surprises, special comfort foods, candy, surprises and fun times. As we get older, those things become less exciting to us until they’re just another holiday that’s zooming up our rear ends. They not only zoom up on us, they become costly, require a lot of time (not enough) to prepare for and are just plain not looked forward to with as much zeal, relish and enthusiasm as they were in our youth.

It’s not just that we have gotten bored with these wonderful times. We have just already seen and experienced these things, and we require new experiences and surprises. In Louisiana it might be referred to as a lagniappe. This means (roughly), an unexpected pleasant surprise. That’s not exactly what Merriam-Webster says, but you get my drift. Maybe that’s not even hitting the nail on the head, but we starting looking for things that we might have we missed, and we start asking our selves, “What happened?" How could I have missed that, let it slip by?

You wake up one morning and there’s a strange older person staring back at you in the bathroom mirror, asking what you’re doing here. "Who’s that older person in the mirror?” Then you start seeing this person on a daily basis, identifying with and you start talking back to him/her. “I never saw that before!" "Wow! Where’d that come from?.....you know, that stuff drooping down over your/my/our belt?" ...and "How did I miss that white hair on my chin?" ...or "Hey! Our chest looks like it’s been slept in!” …and, “Those boobs would look so much better in a pair of support hose.” This is when you really know you have reached the age where you look much better in clothes than out of them.

On the other hand, we start appreciating things we would never have appreciated as a child……a visit or a phone call from a cousin, or an old friend, a sight-seeing vacation, where you don’t see water parks or Mickey and Goofy; a little road trip in the country, a good report from our doctor, the adoration from grandchildren, the trust of your loyal old dog, occasionally getting out of bed in the morning without aching and limping…..a daily bowel movement would be a bonus! No kidding!

I get the feeling here, that I’m starting to frighten the next generation. Listen up! Pay attention! This stuff does happen. Well, it’s not really all that bad. You also start to discover, appreciate and use freedoms and talents you never knew you had before. You try new things, and You finally have time for the things you had wished to have time for in your child rearing days. You take a picture of a spider web in the morning dew that you might have just knocked down a few years ago (if you got up that early). Learn to cook just for two again. You discover new interests, or are at least willing to try new things……Well, I am, and I’m finding out that I’m pretty darn good at things I wouldn’t have dreamed of doing years ago.

For Christmas this year, I received various types of beading paraphernalia from my wonderful family. I've already started stringing some beads. I guess I'm just going to learn everything there is to know about beading, including how to make glass beads, thanks to RGA. Hey! This is great! I get to use a torch, and not only has he made me a table just to make these glass beads on, but he's cleaned out a spot in the garage just for me. To me, that's true love. He's sharing his garage with me after only 18 years.

Here's the clincher. For the first time, I'm not uncomfortable with it, and I'm truly starting to have some real fun. This isn't bad at all. I think I'll just go with it, and start experiencing new things and finding excitement around every corner. Listen, kids! You'll never know until you get there. There's nothing really to be afraid of. This is great!

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Amen to that, girl friend. I thought I was the only 50+ who hates to put up X'mas trees. Now, I can declare it publicly. I joyfully admit that photography is now now more important to me than cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, painting walls, etc. And I have disposed of my bathroom magnifying mirror. No one sees me like "that", anyway. XO, Karin.

DocBillyBob said...

Forty years ago I held my mother's hand for hours as she lay struggling through her last breaths of life on Christmas Day. For a few years I hated Christmas. The Christmas of 1972 may have been the low point of my life. But, then by some miracle I re-experienced love and family and children. Grateful and humbled, I began to make every effort to make Christmas special for my bride, then my children, a few people that hardly knew me, and now my grandchildren. The Christmas Story, both the pagan and Christain aspects of the holiday, have become an important focus of celebration. By making the day specisl for others, I regained the magic of the holiday within my heart.
Fight the temptation to embrace cynicism.
Bill Beaty

Melissa Brown said...

A beautiful testimonial, Bill. Thanks for reminding me that the season is more than decorating a tree.

Nona said...

The whole thing made me smile and feel a whole lot better about some of the thoughts I have. I am not alone!

Melissa Brown said...

Thanks, Nona....And you certainly NOT alone. Just look at all of us. Aren't we beautiful?

Karin said...

Isn't it amazing just how we change our priorities as we get older. Who knew I would start drumming just before I turned 50 and start to play the ukulele in my mid fifties.