SCATTERED RESOLVE

The New Year 2010 is looming, and I’ve been thinking. People who know me know just how dangerous this can be, and they get out of my way to miss the flying debris.

As I do daily, I wake to a new determination and declaration of an old new sense of values that inevitably wanes as the day, month and/or year progresses, as I get side tracked with the tedium of daily living. I remind myself that there are no big deals in life except for the miracle of life itself. No strife for me, as I remind myself that I can regroup and start my day over at any time of day I choose, with a new determination and declaration of an old sense of…

Sometimes, that’s how my day goes; derailing and getting back on track. That’s hardly a large accomplishment by some standards. But it is for me, by virtue of the fact that I get back on at all. There some days when I just shrug, and forget that I’ve wandered off course and need to get back to what I’ve set out to do. A number of things can distract me; a phone call, having a light bulb come on in my head for a new story, and rushing to my computer to get a tag on it. Or it might have just been to get something out to thaw for the evening meal, or simply taking a break. If I don’t get back on track, I will follow the stray course aimlessly, and feel at the end of the day that I had failed. Nothing was accomplished. What an awful feeling to end the day with. I needed to get my main objective back in my sights. It might have been something with a long term goal…something to aim for. Whatever the case, I constantly get off course, and at one point, I didn’t seem to care. However, it makes a big difference to me at this point in my life.

I do the very same thing in the yard. The yard itself is an overwhelmingly huge, and a daunting task that is constantly demanding attention. If I don’t have a plan, I will get sidetracked by something in the outer parameters that needs attention. If a flowerbed needs cleaning out, I will see something close by that needs trimming, and before you know it, I’ve moved down the entire side of the yard trimming, but not getting the flowerbed cleaned out. Before I am aware of it, I’ve started yet another huge project that one cannot possibly finish in one day and I did not achieve what I had set out to do. Therefore, my main goal has been thwarted. I suppose I need to wear blinders and carry a list on a string around my neck.

On a good day…that is, when there are no interruptions, I will forge through my self assigned task with the determination of an ant readying for the winter. Upon finishing the project, I pat myself on the back, shower, eat and fall into bed feeling the satisfaction of having completed the task. It’s a good feeling, and I almost always wake the next morning with that same good feeling of accomplishment. I’m then free to map out another project. These days just don’t happen very often. It’s an occasion to celebrate …out to eat and all.

House cleaning is a different matter. On “scattered” days, I will jump into a task with that same determination that I need to get started on a yard project…no plan at hand. As I wade into the middle of a mired mess I get totally overwhelmed and start picking through the debris to be moved, tossed or given away. Groan! What am I supposed to do with all this crap? If it’s mine, I can usually make a decision to toss or give away. If it’s not mine it's a different story. Thus; I have devised my “wandering figure eight” method of placing or redistributing the items that don’t belong. Lately, I’ve added a small laundry basket to toss things in that belong elsewhere. I simply start in a room that I’d planned to clean, tossing items in the basket that need to be elsewhere. When the basket is full, I move to the next room, placing items from the basket where they belong in that room and placing other items in the basket that need to be in other rooms; then move on to the next room mapped out in my figure eight. And so on through out the house until I’m back in the room where I started. After that, say, I need to dust or vacuum. That’s an easy one. There’s only one thing at a time to drag around with me in my figure eight. Dusting comes first, then starting over with vacuuming. Bathrooms are all together a different matter. That requires that I carry a small bucket with bathroom cleaning items in it, from one bathroom at a time. In the bucket are paper towels, rags, bathroom cleaner, toilet bowl cleaner and a scrubbing broom for the sunken shower. By the way, I’ve vowed never to even consider a house with a sunken tub again.

Cooking is also a different matter, but I’ve devised a plan that will eliminate the problem of leaving out a vital ingredient. I simply do what they do on cooking shows, lining everything up that I could possibly need to use, as well as a page magnifier for the directions on putting the ingredients together. I have been known to put the horse before the cart a number of times. For some reason, though, the cooking seems much more logical, and comes much easier than cleaning house. Perhaps it’s because I get to taste as I move along from step to step.

It’s the big stuff that really throws me off; you know, like big closets full of old clothes, Christmas decorations not used in 20 years, and those horrible drawers in the kitchen and other rooms that are designated as “valuable shit” drawers. Sorry if the term is as offensive as the drawers are. I cannot think of a more apt description. There are things like old booklets and warranties for things we no longer own, twisties, rubber bands, tack hammers, loose screws, dried up Super Glue and single shoe laces. These drawers literally bulge with “valuable shit”.

Here is where the logic comes in. Using such things as a reward is sometimes futile. So, I’ve decided that I would truly feel much more like completing a task in a timely fashion if I go ahead and take the reward beforehand. This will require a great deal of concentration and resolve on my part. I’ll have to have a plan. As a pre project incentive, I can pick something out that I’ve wanted to do, like go get a pedicure, or go have lunch with a friend. The logic in this is that it’s really an incentive, and the real reward comes after the completion of the task. It’s the wonderful feeling of having completed something that has always been so daunting. Get my drift?

So, the plan is in place to begin immediately after ringing in the New Year. This is going to be The Year of Completing Projects. 2010, here I come!

As I do daily, I wake to a new determination and declaration of an old new sense of values that inevitably wanes as the day, month and/or year progresses, as I get side tracked with the tedium of daily living. I remind myself that there are no big deals in life except for the miracle of life itself. No strife for me, as I remind myself that I can regroup and start my day over at any time of day I choose, with a new determination and declaration of an old sense of…