WHAT ON EARTH? Some Very Good Questions

What on Earth has become of our Country, our Continent and our whole world?  What’s the matter with kids today?  What has come over adults to believe that they are powerful enough to control the forces of nature of our living, breathing planet?  Who and what can we blame for this global warming (not that it hasn’t happened before)?   And, what’s going on with our corrupt leaders, our corrupt nations and the people who pretend to care?  What the hell is this business of being politically correct?  Why won’t our Federal Government protect our borders from allowing the drug cartels from all over the world to come in?  Surely the drug cartels do not fall among the “...Your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free…”  

I have become one of those old fogies that ask these questions…one of those old people (babyboomers) that the present administration is trying to squeeze out of the “economy”.

What’s going on with people that they don’t own up to responsibility for themselves and their families?  How has it come to the point here in the United States of America, where the American Dream is to be able to work hard and make a good life, that the harder you work and the more you make, the more our government will take away from you?

 

Why do so many people think that our government owes them a living, stripped from people who have worked hard for their money and livelihood; though these “entitled people” don’t opt to support themselves?  Why do so many people who have worked hard for the money they make and the life they have worked hard for, owe it to our government to give it to those who don’t /won’t work, and won’t own up the responsibility of themselves and their families.  Why does our government think it has to have a hand in everything?

Could it be that our Government has become such a chronic consumer, spending away our funds, and trying to make up for the debts owed that they are taxing us all into poverty?  Another question would be….Doesn’t our government know that if you find yourself in a hole, you should stop digging?   I guess not.

Well, I can’t believe I just asked all those questions…the same questions asked by our parents, their parents and their parents before them.  These are valid questions and deserve an answer; though I don’t even pretend to have an answer to any one of these questions myself.  The answers lie in our hearts and the reality of the persons who squint their eyes and then open them wide...wide enough to see the whole spectrum of how things have come to the point that they are now.  Sorry.  I guess I just got carried away once again.

Well, I guess my mind just got on a track of questions starting with, how on Earth are we going to protect our children from hot dogs and candy canes?  That’s been on my mind since a middle school boys choir group called the Christmas Sweater Club, got in trouble for bringing 2” candy canes to school to pass out to all of their school mates.  They were given detention for passing out “potential weapons”.  And further more they were made to pick up all the wrappers from said “potential weapons” because they caused a horrible litter problem.  It seems that their parents, knowing that those candy canes could be sucked on until a sharp point was established, allowed them to be brought to school; therefore providing a weapon that could possibly disrupt the entire school.

 

Actually, the teachers were probably afraid of them, and the students had not even considered that they could be used to stab anyone.  If this rule is passed, then all pencils and pens should be taken up immediately, and jail time for anyone harboring any of these “potential weapons”.

And while I’m on the subject of punishment for infractions in school, I heard someone say that their son got detention for skipping school.  The teen, obviously more clever than the person issuing the detention said, “You’re giving me detention for skipping school.  What makes you think I’ll show up to do detention?”  Now, that is a very, very good question.

My question would be on the above school related incidences, Why are these kids not coming to school?  Granted, skipping school is as old as time itself, but more and more, there is less attraction to school.  Could it be that teachers aren’t allowed to teach?  They aren’t allowed to fail any student.  The students know this, so they just skip school.  Teachers are not allowed to discipline.  Teachers are afraid of the students, because the students know teachers aren’t allowed to discipline students (outside of detention).  They (teacher) are Union, so they don’t have to try hard?  Teachers only have to teach for a short time, and then, they are given full benefits regardless of how they exit teaching.  Children are learning from school that they don’t have to do anything to graduate. 

So, they aren’t learning anything practical to help them in the real, grown-up world.   I agree that technology is the future, but it shouldn’t interfere with education.  In fact, it should be helping education, but as long as these communication devices are allowed in school, it will only hinder education.

Why are cell phones, iPods, Blackberries and other means of communications allowed in school AT ALL?  No wonder our students are not learning anything.  They can’t spell, but they can text faster than a minnow can swim a dipper.  If a kid needs to call Mommy, then they can go to the office and use the phone, or the school office can contact your mom at a moments’ notice.  It’s highly unlikely they are calling or texting “mommy”.  Again, why are these devices even allowed in school?  These devices are loaded with information, as well as the ability to contact another student for the answers to a test.  It’s called C-H-E-A-T-I-N-G.  And, again, teachers don’t have to do much.  Are there any students or teachers, for that matter, that can spell?  Or, are all teachers just equipped with blinders upon getting their teaching assignments? Key words here are, They are not allowed. 

And, here is one other observation.  A friend of ours got a substitute teaching assignment.  He took his laptop to class.  His only comment was that it was a piece of cake.  Paid hourly, all he had to do, basically, was to babysit.  Why even have anyone there, except for the illusion an authority figure?

Before the “Candy Cane Conspiracy”, there was the “Hotdog Dilemma”.  Some hysterical person decided that the shape of hotdogs needed to be changed because young children could choke on them.  They probably didn’t even consider the alternatives available:  A) Cut said hotdog up in tinier pieces for the baby/toddler. B)  Don’t give your baby/toddler a hotdog if you are afraid they could choke on them.   Don’t even bring up changing the shape of bananas.  You will be considered a moron for suggesting that we find a way to change the shape of a banana.  Whatever happened to common sense?

The above two examples go with other hysteria, like banning of certain games or practices.  One practice was to let the students “choose sides”.  This was banned because “It might hurt some students’ feelings if they aren’t picked”.   I will interject here, that I was one who was not chosen on the favored team in my elementary school.  Much to the chagrin of the favored team, I hit a softball so hard into right field, that I broke a second story window in our school building.  AND, I didn’t even get in trouble for it.  No one called to report it to Mom and Dad.

Several games have been banned, like dodge ball.  Someone could get hurt.  Whatever happened to common sense and logic?  We used to play swinging statue, red rover and crack the whip all of which would be outlawed today, because someone might get hurt.  You cannot ride a bicycle today without full gear.  Can kids still jump-rope, or is the rope a potential noose?  Someone might get hurt.  The point is that parents have become so controlling and so over bearing that they are unwilling to allow their little darlings to suffer as much as a scraped knee.  This, in itself, is very detrimental, in that the child will never learn what is to fail and recover.  They will never learn these important lessons that people/children have always been allowed to learn from the beginning of civilization…the beginning of mankind.

Okay….I’m stepping off the dais for the time being.  Please comment on this..Pro and Con.  I want to hear it.  I promise a rebuttal! 

Respectfully,

Mena/Melissa/Mom 

A GATHERING OF SIBLINGS Reflections of Reinvention

A GATHERING OF SIBLINGS

Reflections of Reinvention

Recently, I had the opportunity to attend a birthday party for one of my brothers.  We’ve been giving special birthday celebrations for those of us that have turned 60 for almost 3 years.  That means that three of us, plus one cousin, have made it to 60.  Most of our siblings were able to come for this celebration.  Two were not, and they were missed and talked about, lovingly, of course.   As I observed my siblings, I saw “Momisms” and “Dadisms” in each of them, and I dare say they see the same “isms” in me.  My observation of the entire celebration is that we all had a wonderful time, good food and very good company.

 

What a comfort that all of them are fine people with separate agendas; and that they certainly do not need to have my same agenda, nor my advice.  It’s even conceivable that I am just fine, and can do whatever I choose, including screw up, without the help and/or advice and consent of others.  And, yes, it has taken that long to realize that my siblings are just fine.  This whole paragraph gives light to the term I’m OK You’re OK, which was originally coined in a book of the same name, by Thomas A Harris, MD  in 1972.

 

Actually, I do vaguely remember reading this book about 38 years ago.  In his book, Dr. Harris talks about the movie, “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Wolf?”  I remember seeing that movie as well, and that I was disturbed at how the characters treated each other.  It seemed that from this scenario, we are supposed to see that we create our own illusions; and when we are not happy with the illusions we have created for ourselves, then we tend to pick on the illusions that our loved ones (family, friends, neighbors, strangers?) have created for themselves.  Shouldn’t we just create newer, better illusions for ourselves; reinvent ourselves?  That would have been great, if we had only realized that it was that simple.  Sadly, we did not and sometimes still don’t, so we continue to observe and critique others.  And that’s only part of the analogy.  Hence, the good doctor is telling us that we’re all okay, so we should quit picking on each other, and just appreciate and accept.   What a relief not to have to analyze and pick apart!

All of this has made me realize just how difficult it is sometimes, just to be ourselves.  It is very complicated.  I certainly do not consider myself unique in this.  We all care what others think of us, seeking approval for our deeds and actions.  

Sometimes, don’t we alter the way we do things, reinventing a part of what or who we think we are?  I told you that it’s complicated.  We all fancy ourselves as being one thing, or one way or another.  During my lifetime, I’ve seen men and boys try to emulate John Wayne, Steve McQueen, Elvis Presley, James Bond, James Dean, Ringo Starr, Steven Seagal, Gregory Peck , Mahatma Gandhi, and even Steve Martin;  just to name a few.  Women and girls I’ve known have tried to be Princess Grace, Marilyn Monroe, Sophia Loren, Janice Joplin, Nicole Kidman, Kathy Hepburn, Meg Ryan, Angelina Jolie, Doris Day, Twiggy and Julia Roberts; again, just to name a few.  But, I’ve never seen anyone try to be Ward or June Clever or Ozzie or Harriet Nelson.  I couldn’t wear a dress and a strand of pearls even for one day … personally.

In retrospect of growing pains up to the age of 60, I’ve done the same thing.  When being who I am (Who is that anyway?) didn’t work for me, I tried to be like someone else.  No.  That’s not entirely true.  I wanted to actually be someone else…anyone else that might have more success than I thought I was having at the time.  And, didn’t we have the strangest notions of what “success” was to us then?

So, here’s where I’m going with all of that.  “First, do no harm” comes to mind.   It is not up to me to judge, critique, nor to try to persuade anyone to my way of thinking.  It makes my life much more comfortable to accept them for just who they are, and by this, find their opinions and values much more interesting.  Not only do I like them for who they are, but for their differences as well. What makes more sense is to take all of the information of differences and / or the things that I might disagree with, and process it, not to judge them, but to form my own decisions and choices.

  

The only time we have is right here, and right now.

SO, JUST VOTE !!!

Early voting this past Monday was a piece of cake.  I drove up to the precinct 4 Fire Station and saw a pick-up truck pulling out of a prime parking spot … right in front of the door.  And, I didn’t have to fight for it.  I just pulled in.  A woman standing in the parking lot next door shouted, “Do you live in the Spring ISD?”  Oh, crap!  I’m in the Klein ISD.  Maybe I’ve parked in a place reserved just for Spring ISD voters.  I hollered back, “NO!”   She seemed to have lost interest with that, and I shrugged and went in the front door and handed my Voter Registration I.D. to one of the women seated at the long table.  I signed, and she handed me a little slip of paper with my voters’ code on it; and I went to one of several booths.  Piece of cake!  I knew how I wanted to vote and what all the issues were.  Turning the dial was a pleasure.  The whole thing took less than 15 minutes.  I drove back home feeling the usual satisfaction that comes with having cast my vote.

The only things remaining are the political ads on television, and the recorded political phone messages.  I did receive a phone call yesterday that wasn’t a recording.  It was from a phone bank, and the young girl said,”I’m calling to ask just a couple of questions about how you voted.”  Well, how in the hell did she know I’d already voted?  And what gave her permission to, a.) Invade my privacy at home with a bunch of survey questions and,  b.) Ask questions about how I voted at all?  I told her that we are on the NO CALL list.  She retorted that it was a political survey, and that the rule didn’t apply to political surveys.  I told her that I still considered it an invasion of my personal space and that just by the fact that she would even ask me about how I voted is a violation of my privacy.  Knowing that she had to get to a certain point in her “interview monologue”, I refused to allow her to get to that point.  I told her I would NOT answer her questions, and that she needed to get another job….because I was not going to cooperate.   Her only reply was, “We’ll just call back at a more convenient time.”   I told her that there was not a convenient time to intrude on my privacy, and that she’d better not even consider calling back.  I hung up feeling pretty smug.  Actually, I used to be polite to telemarketers.  That changed one night when we were just settling in for the night….in bed, and we got a survey call.  The Royster and I started making up stuff to tell these intruders of privacy.  Neither of us have any shame there.

The other annoyance is the political ads on T.V.  My take on that is that if a candidate cannot run for office on their own merits, and keep their “promises” without mud-slinging, trashing, and out and out slander of their opponent, then they don’t have any business running for office.   Politicians are politicians; salesmen/women with a smoke and mirrors agenda. The debates are a joke, and I don’t believe that our news medias are much better.  They give the word journalism new meaning.  Isn’t there supposed to be truth in journalism?  Somehow, the politicians have reached into our media and opened the “bias” door to all of them.  More’s the pity.  Where is that “NONE OF THE ABOVE”, or the “WRITE IN CANDIDATE”  selection?

Having cast my vote and endured all of the insulting ads and political phone invasions, I’ve had my opinionated say about all of this.  I’m sure that all of these candidates and the media are crying all the way to the bank about my opinion.  Hah!  I’m not that powerful, but together, we as citizens are a powerful force.  Look through all the political mud-slinging, smoke and mirrors and know what YOU want, and JUST VOTE!

AMAZING GRACE - ONCE AGAIN After All “Near Occasions” of Sin

Once again, here I am, blessed in my life, and forgiven for my occasions of sin, and for my black soul that follows me everywhere.  Every day I can count on these blessings, and I don’t know why, but the blessings keep coming.  Possibly I should not count on them, but just count them.


I guess the reason that I’m so focused on my black soul, is because from the very first day of catechism I was told that our young innocent souls are already tainted with original sin until we are Baptized.  Original Sin would be the grave sin bestowed on us by Adam and Eve by eating from the Tree of Knowledge.  In the next catechism, I learned that we are never supposed to question the teachings of the Catholic Church…..EVER!  Ummmm……and why not?  Why shouldn’t we question anything we have a doubt about, wonder about or have a genuine curiosity about?

Sin seems to be available around every corner; pretty easy to find.  It’s our job to try to avoid the near occasion of sin.  We are taught from the very beginning that Satan and his minions are around every corner, lurking and sleazing around for lazy, vulnerable souls to bribe, harvest, and to convince us that bad is good, and good is bad.  And furthermore, I learned that it’s a sin to waste a single second of time.  Say, if you spend an afternoon lying by a river bank wondering about the miracles and beauty that our God has created, then you’re in real trouble.  Couldn’t that be counted as meditating on how great our God is?

There is far too much detail heaped on us about what is bad or just plain evil.  This is enough to make anyone paranoid.  Our God blessed us with a free will, and then told us to use it wisely.  My daily prayer is to ask God to just help me be good.  That’s all I need for me.  I know the difference between right and wrong.  So, if I do something that is wrong, then I’m pretty aware of it, and feel appropriately guilty.  Then I will summon up the appropriate amends eventually.  Mea culpa, mea, culpa, mea culpa….  Done!

Blast that emotion of guilt!  Ann Landers says that if you feel guilty, then you probably are guilty of something. Ain’t it the truth!  And, aren’t we always?  Our daily media crams us with  as much fear and guilt up our patooties as they possibly can.  This is done to sell products and politics.  It’s on every T.V. news channel, newspaper, and televangelist and on all of the radio stations.  We don’t have to have a preacher do it on Sunday.

 

According to whom?  It’s all about viewers and ratings.  They’ll promote anything within the realms of “journalism” (and these days, I use the term loosely), to promote whatever the sponsors have paid for them to say and promote.  If you squint your eyes and tune in your ears, you can tell when it’s a crock.  You just have to look at both sides and bone up on what each side has to say, and then take from that what you will.  Who knows….really!  Does anybody really know?  Will anyone challenge the media, or are we all Sheeple?

Inevitable temptation is always going to be there, but perhaps we should focus more on how we respond to the temptation.  Learn from it.  Pride, Envy, Gluttony, Lust, Anger, Avarice, and  Sloth.  These seven deadly sins predate Christ.  Jesus only highlighted what was already being preached.  Is it Sloth   then, to be sitting here at this computer?

From the beginning of mankind, people have looked to the “heavens” for the God that made them.  We have basic knowledge of what’s right and what’s wrong.  These are the sins we have to watch out for.  People will see a temptation and assume that it is somewhat innocent, and then the next time, they/we will find it much easier to fall prey to that same temptation once we look at it as a rational, justifiable decision because we have a free will.  Lightening didn’t strike, so it must not be so bad.  I guess we can rationalize anything to be right and good.

So, why am I expounding about sin and guilt?  Shouldn’t we be more focused on just doing good in our world, and possibly how to help others?  And shouldn’t there be less focus on how bad we are, and less emphasis on the consequences for not following the rules of any one religion.  Just being a good person is a step in the right direction; then follow a religion….one you believe is good for you. 

 We have been programed to fear retribution, and if we’re afraid, then, we humans respond with rebellious actions….fight back!  And, what of the “rewards” for just being a good person?  This should start out with ….First, do no harm!  The very first reward for this would be the knowledge that you have harmed no one. 

That’s the way I’m looking at things this morning.  I think the media news on T.V. set me off.  I stand by being a good person first.  Eradicate fear and go forward. Recognize what is the right thing to do and do it.  If you don’t know the right thing to do, then just do the next right thing.  Being a good person is just too under-rated.  Too many rules have been attached to being a good person.  And I think that most people qualify as good people, and don’t even know it.  We are a good people.

Now, just do some good for yourself and for mankind.  Smile and be happy you are here for the lessons you will learn.

THE RULE OF: If It’s Not One Thing, Then It’s……

We all get to a certain age, health-wise, where we feel we’re catching all of the juggling pins, but that they just keep coming.  You swear that you only started with five things to juggle, but now there are six, then eight, then ten.  Geeeeeezzzze!  Where did they all come from?  Just when you think you’ve nipped one thing in the bud, another one crops up.  You’ve learned in life that if you keep a semblance of a schedule, that it makes life simpler.  But…there are always things of the unexpected nature cropping up.

For our Labor Day week-end, we had planned to drive downtown and spend a day taking some candid photos of life inside Loop 610; possibly snagging some photos of some of the interesting people on Westheimer.  This was the plan for at least one day of the three day week-end.

Friday night, we were having our usual dinner with friends at The Texas Roadhouse.  I had decided that I would have something other than my usual medium rare steak with salad and baked sweet potato.  The beef tips looked wonderful.  All was good while waiting.  My mouth all set for this, and I started tearing through the salad and rolls.  These are always very good. 

As we ate our salads, we were royally entertained by the other couples’ two year old granddaughter, Izzy.  She had been staring at the funny looking man that had all the ear markings of Teddy Bear; particularly around his fur covered face.  Izzy was intrigued with The Royster’s face fur.  He allowed her to touch it, and that sent her in to a frenzy of giggles, much to everyone else’s’ delight.  After a while, she thought it was okay to give the big Teddy Bear a kiss, which sent her in to hysterical laughter.  What better entertainment at dinner time than a happy, funny baby.

The main course arrived.  The waitress cleared away empty plates, and placed food in front of us.  Those beef tips were making me drool.  As she placed the food in front of me, I saw that the beef tips were cooked to perfect medium rare, and the rice was brown with beautiful little sautéed mushrooms.  I took a big sip of water to clear my palate, stabbed one of the sautéed mushrooms and put it in my drooling, waiting mouth.  The flavor was wonderful.  Next, I tried the brown rice.  I was deliberately teasing my mouth; making it wait for the beef tips.  Finally, I cut off a bite of the beef tips and delicately placed it in my mouth to savor.  Excellent, just as I thought it would be!  BUT WAIT!!!!!  As I chewed and swallowed, a familiar uncomfortable feeling crept in. 

Six years ago, I had some radiation that created scar tissue in my swallower that had made it impossible to swallow.  I had that treated (dilated) about seven times before the dang thing would work properly.  Before it was fixed, though, I would have episodes of food sticking; not moving up or down.  Generally, after an hour or so, the food would eventually move on.  Mind you, it always happened at a really nice restaurant, and we always had to get a to-go box so I could at least enjoy the meal later.

The familiar feeling persisted, and I finally had to excuse myself to the ladies room.  I wasn’t choking, but wanted to make sure I was in a convenient spot in case the beef tip finally decided to come flying out my mouth.  I waited and nothing happened, so I returned to our dinner table, and announced that I’d have to have a “doggie box” to take my dinner home in.   I darn sure was not going to leave my dinner on the table.  The Styrofoam box arrived along with the check.  We divided-up and left.  I was getting more and more uncomfortable.

 

We stood outside in the parking lot chatting with our friends.  Finally, I motioned to The Royster that we really needed to head home.  I just knew that the offending beef tip would move along if I had a nice hot shower and relaxed a little, and I did just that as soon as we got home.  Sadly, the clog remained.  I could not even slip a sip of tea past it.  Finally, I drifted off to sleep around 10:30, only to wake every hour on the hour until I finally got up around 2:30.  The swallower would not relax to let the food pass.  A panicky feeling replaced hope.  I let The Royster sleep, because I knew that he would have to be in charge a little later.  I had already made up my mind that we would be heading to an emergency room at 5:30.

 

Dressed and ready to go with medical info in hand we headed out the door, arriving at St. Luke’s at 6:00.  The Royster let me out at the E.R. door and went to park the car.  The waiting room was surprisingly quiet.  We did have to wait but were called in just as the sun was about to come up, and were escorted to a small room, where I was hooked up to an I.V. of something that was supposed to relax the esophagus.

The Royster patted me in sympathy and entertained me by drawing a face on a latex glove and blowing it up.  The man is talented!  There just wasn’t anything to read while we waited.  After about an hour, the I.V. was empty, and its contents had failed miserably.  The clog had not budged.  So, I was taken up to be pleasantly sedated while the doctor went diving for the beef tip.  Seems the old swallower had started shrinking up again.  Beef tip removed, I was dilated and awakened 40 minutes later.  After all was said and done, I was cleared to go home and eat soft foods (ice cream) for the rest of the day.  I was handed a page of nine progressive photos of what the doctor was doing while I enjoyed my drug induced nap.  She also gave me another sheet with instructions on how to take care of myself.  She then said I would need a follow-up visit in a week.

 

Stopping only at the pharmacy for prescriptions, we made it home around noon.   The Royster poured us a cranberry pomegranate juice, and I retired to the bedroom to sleep off the rest of the anesthetic.

All is well today (a day later), and I thoroughly enjoyed the beef tips for lunch.  All is back to normal, and as usual….waiting for another danged ol’ pin to be thrown into my juggling act. Bring it!  Whatever comes along, we’ll just handle it!   So, once again, if it’s not one thing, then it’s another.  Life just happens that way and you deal with it and move on.

THAT LOVING FEELING

And, I just feel loved….more now than ever in my life.  How much time do we, as individuals, spend wondering if we’re loved, or even liked?  I can tell you right now, we waste waaaaayyyyy too much time on this.  Look around you.

I go out in the back yard every morning, and see just what’s opening up to me.  It reminds me that there is beauty, love and unity in our world.  Too often we see the destructive side of life in the news, and it tells me otherwise.  I choose to see what’s worth living for.   There is a positive for every negative that we see, know and feel.

At this juncture in my life, I can see, know and feel choices.  We can go wherever we want, and live the way we want to live.  Nothing in this life is anything I haven’t invited into my life…..including the misery.  If we choose to feel misery, we will.  After all, if we don’t know misery, how are we supposed to know joy?  We choose to feel joy.  And, how else are to know misery?

My children are a joy to me, just knowing how special each of my two daughters are.  Opposite as night and day, they are on their own paths, and giving so much of themselves to what makes the world go around.

My siblings…and there are many, are also contributing to their lives, as well as the lives of others for the good in this life.  I see beautiful art work, and beautiful children, and beautiful words coming from each of them; and .....

I feel loved.

All I’m saying is that we have choices to feel misery, or not. 

A friend of mine made the statement that “No one would ever want either of us! We’re so weird.”   I started to challenge that, because I was thinking the very same thing about “us”.  “No one would want either of us. We’re so danged different.”  I suggest that when each of us has found our mates, soul mates; the love of our lives … No one else would do.”  And that’s the truth.  If there is anyone who thinks they would want either one of us, they would be sorely disappointed in their choice.  They would not see the wonderful things we see in each other.  It’s not because we disapprove of anything the other has to offer, but because we so totally accept exactly who the other one is.  That’s the one I want.

I feel so loved.

Just to know that is very important.  Do you know that?  Many of us do…..finally, and sometimes, that’s just what it takes….just time.  We are so fortunate to live long enough to know this.

I feel so loved.

I HAVE FAT MASSES, AND I KNOW WHERE THEY ARE HIDING!

Exactly a month ago, I started back to the gym (Curves); not because I expect to get back to “Cute and Adorable” again, but I finally realize that doing this can only improve my respiratory system and get me back in to pretty good shape.  I felt that this is something I need to do, and I just accept this as part of my life and responsibility now; part of my efforts to keep fit for my kids.  We all know that as long as we keep healthy, fit and active, then we have a much better chance of keeping our mental facilities for a longer period of time, and therefore avoiding that which we Babyboomers fear most; getting put in a nursing home or, even worse, just ending up a burden to the people we love.

Today, when I went in to do my daily 30 to 45 minutes of rigorous exercise, I was stopped by a woman with a measuring tape!  “Halt!  It’s your turn!  It’s been exactly a month since you’ve been coming here, and it’s time to see what you’ve done!” 

What have I done?  

I didn’t realize they took it so seriously!  Was I late?  Did I miss a day or two?  Oh, nooooo!  She came at me with a tape measure, and measured my bust.   Actually, that wasn’t so bad.  After I had turned 55, it (my bust) had actually started to grow, and I was very upset over this.  It had started to get in my way.  I really didn’t like it at all, remembering after my two girls were born and how I actually knocked over poker chips and drinks with my newly acquired buxom boobs.  At that point, I fretted and envisioned suddenly turning sideways and giving a short person a concussion.   How embarrassing!  I had never had them before, and didn’t want them….well not “bigguns” (Al Bundy speak).  At any rate, the lady with the tape measure whipped the tape around my bust!  Wow!  What a relief!  I had lost two inches!  Even better, that probably means I’ve lost some of my recently acquired (within the past 6 years) back fat.

Next, she measured my waist.  That was a disappointment, as I had not even lost a centimeter there.  How discouraging!  More HULA HOOP!  By the way, there is actually a hula hoop at Curves that weighs about 4 lb., and the inside is scalloped.  When you get it going, it actually pummels your waist line.

After that, she measured my upper arms, abdomen, hips and thighs.    I had lost a total of 8 inches.  It didn’t mean much to me because I had not noticed it before.  However, what I did notice when I finally got on the scale, was that I had lost 2 lb.  That, once again, was a little disappointing.  After all, I’d been at this for a month now.  You would think there should have been a greater weight loss.

   

Then the aggressive woman with the tape measure said:  “Congratulations! You’ve made some really great progress.  You may have lost only 2 lb., but you’ve lost 8” inches overall.  This means you are increasing your muscle mass, and losing fat mass”.   No one had ever told me that I had “fat mass”.  That seemed to make everything a little better, but I had a moment of hitting basement when I realized that there was much more to go.  “I know where the rest of you fat masses are hiding!”  And by the way, it is NOT doing such a great job of hiding.

After giving it a bit more thought, I decided that it must be that nightly ice cream with The Royster. Well, that’s just one of the factors though.  Seemingly, everything started changing at once about 6 years ago.   There was the fact that I had to quit smoking, hormonal changes, chemo and radiation and age all collided at once.  Oh, and add the fact that I had always been used to “eating like a man”, without gaining an ounce or an inch anywhere.   Put that together with the fact that I live with a diet saboteur.   Yes, and come to think of it, I’d probably lose weight and inches faster if I’d leave off the late night ice cream with The Royster.  I sincerely hope The Royster won’t get his feelings hurt if I don’t join him in serving bowls of ice cream late at night.  Serve yourself, Honey.  I’ll try not to watch.

Alright!  I’m encouraged.  I’ve actually seen some progress, and just when I was starting to get discouraged.  Over the past week, I had started thinking up excuses not to go to the gym.  That’s a familiar pattern.  I’m getting to know the other ladies, and I appreciate every one of them.  Possibly I could get to know one of them well enough to call me every morning g to tell me to “Move AWAY from the computer and get your butt down here to the gym!”  Guess I’m just lacking a little discipline, and could use a drill sergeant pal to encourage me.

   

Now that I am aware of “fat mass”, and where it’s all hiding, then I do feel inclined to continue going to the gym.  I actually feel that I can drop off the ice cream habit.  I’ll be starving the “fat mass”.   “Put that cinnamon bun down and step AWAY from the computer and get your ass to the gym!”  So…………..Call me!

OUT IN PUBLIC “AT OUR AGE”

At an impasse in life where we can walk into any retail business and be asked for our AARP Card for our Senior Citizen’s discount, I’m finally getting used to it.  The reason it’s taking me so long to get used to it, is that behind these eyes I still feel like the same person that I’ve always been, possibly 26 to 30 years old. This is the paradox that I’ve alluded to many times.  A quick glance at my own reflection in a mirror or window tells me that I’m “entitled to” a discount for getting up in years, long in the tooth, and/or of the older generation.  Retirement has been a challenge.

It seems I’ve cocooned myself in years of “self interest”, writing and just getting used to retiring.  What this entire statement means is that I’ve gotten used to having the house to myself for a certain portion of the day.  I have “stuff” to do, but have the option of picking and choosing what I want to do.  I can go to the gym (have to make myself go).  I can bead, and that’s something I am totally interested in, and can do sitting on my ass.  I can write, which I love to do; or I can clean out flowerbeds (no longer a joy),  clean the carpets, dust, vacuum, do laundry, cook, or just none of the afore mentioned.  I can sit on the bed and read while snuggling with the dog, or watch T.V.   This doesn’t mean that I don’t appreciate when The Royster comes home … quite the opposite.  I’m so glad when he comes home.  I don’t have to decide what to do.

Since I’ve been trained from infancy that every moment and every second wasted is a sin, and that I must fill my waking hours with something productive, or something that shows I’m worthy of living this life on this planet, or I am simply not worthy.  I guess that leaves out T.V. and reading (unless it’s the Bible).

                        God, let me do at least one kindness for at least one person today.

This morning was kicked off with a trip to the gym.  I make three workouts a week.  Fortunately, for me, this particular gym is where a number of women (only) of my ilk and peer group.  I feel very comfortable going there, and enjoy the company of women mostly my age.  It’s a really good workout (for me), and I make the circuit twice … and am done in 30 to 45 minutes.  After a brief stretch-out, I return to my truck, where there is a list of things I need to do before going home.  

I drive about 2 blocks in the general direction of home.  My first stop is the Beadahaulic to buy some pieces I need to finish a piece of jewelry I’m making.  Next stop is through Bubbles Car Wash to wash my truck, thus ensuring that it will rain in the afternoon. It worked.  After that, I’m nearly home, but for a brief trip through the drive-through at the bank.  They know me there, and send a dog biscuit for poor ol’ Hank.  Since Hank loves to accompany me to the bank, he’ll be really hacked that he didn’t get to go.  I will be thoroughly sniffed.  “Hah!  You went to the bank without me, didn’t you?”

One more stop at the grocery store for a couple of items, and then home. 

As I walked in the back door, my phone rang.  It was a friend that I hadn’t seen in a while.  We agree to meet at Starbucks … an equal distance from each our homes.  I put away the groceries, took a brief shower and put on clean capris', and  looked for a tee-shirt that didn’t have something emblazoned across the chest or back.  A nice pale green one that claimed nothing would have to do. 

As I drove three miles down the road to meet Hanna, I anticipated getting to visit in a public place with a friend, and the possibility that I wasn’t sure how to act.  I have bought at Starbucks many times before, mostly Iced Chi Tea, but, never to sit down and look like an intellectual in the throes of deep conversation.  But today, as I met Hanna, I went all out; no holds barred, and had a Macchiato, sparing no ingredient.  I certainly hope that we looked like intellectuals, because I pigged down that Macchiato in record time!  We probably didn’t sound much like intellectuals either, because we giggled, snorted and guffawed the entire two hours.  We had such a great time I wondered if I was in trouble for having so much fun.  We did attract some side glances from other people also trying to appear intellectual.

On the way home, I stop off to visit my mother in law who lives at an assisted living facility.  She’s having dinner with two other companions.  The four of us chatted pleasantly for the next 30 minutes.  I bid them farewell and made my departure for home and my Senior Citizen at home mode.

During that brief 2 hour intermission, I wondered if there was something at home I didn’t do or tend to, or left unattended?  The dog is enough of a guilt trip for me when I come home.  He wants to know “Where’ve you been? What do I smell on you … coffee and caramel?  Who’ve you been seeing?  And, why were you gone so long?  … and … “Never mind that I have to pee … where’s my treat?” 

Oh, my God!  His food dish is empty, and his water dish is low!  He may never forgive me!  But, I know better.  As soon as he does his business and comes back in the house, he’s my best friend again, snuggling and cuddling with me while we watch the news.  Well, he’s my best friend until his litter mate comes home.  You know … that guy that comes home in the big white thing with black tires.  As soon as The Royster drives up, The Hankster is barking to tell me that his new best friend is home.  Open the door!  Bark, bark, bark!   I open the door and The Royster enters …. More excited barking.  I relinquish Hank to his litter mate. 

I finally get back to the business of being at home, chopping eggs and vegetables for the tuna salad.  That having been done, I started on the bracelet that I bought pieces for.  As I thread the last gold piece on the end, I’m smiling and reviewing the fun I had with my friend at Starbucks; making a scene with loud storytelling and loud laughter … and, if possible grinning out loud; being a Senior Citizen, invading the usual crowd of Starbucks patrons.  That was just too much fun!  Yup!  I’m definitely going to do that again!  Watch for me, Starbucks.  I’ll be back!

NEW-FANGLED ELECTRONIC GADGETS AND DOO-DADS

I recall trying to get my aging parents interested in computers.  Dad took NO interest at all, and smiled indulgently before dropping into a gin and tonic induced snooze.   Mom didn’t really want to bother to learn it.  Though I tried to explain that she could have all of her files in a nice neat filing system in a computer, she still didn’t like anything about it.  I asked her to visualize her filing system in the computer as a bank of filing cabinets; each containing a subject, and further there would be sub-files under those headings.  I could see her head swimming.  “Mom, Everything can be contained neatly in this system without taking up any floor space.”  She really just wanted her old manual typewriter and a stack of typing paper.  I sighed deeply, and was acutely aware that I was wasting my time.  Though I failed to convince them of the conveniences of having a computer, I had mild success in interesting them in an E-Phone.  Though they were  interested, it was short-lived, in that they couldn’t get the hang of checking their e-messages from us.  So, they seldom answered any of our “e-mails”.   However, they did finally get the hang of cell phones.

That having been said, here we are in 2010; baby boomers that we are; installing the latest electronic technology into our homes, brains and well-beings.  God forbid if we should miss out on a message or information pertinent to our peace and well-being.  As of last week, we have yet another piece of the latest electronic equipment in our house.  The Royster bought himself a new 24” Sony Vaio touch screen computer.  It came in one box, and there were a total of four pieces; the monitor/computer, the wireless mouse, wireless keyboard, and a remote control, so that we could watch Blue Ray movies on this computer.  

We are babyboomers, and accept this advancement as another cross to bear.  Won’t we all be better off?  How did we ever live without all of these electronic gadgets?  Rotary telephones and televisions with big knobs for adjustments were the “modern technology” while I was growing up, unless you want to count dishwashers and garbage disposals modern technology for that era of 1948 through 1966.  After that, computers were just being introduced into businesses and not for private homes yet.

It is what it is!  What else can I say?  Change happens.  You either accept it, or you don’t.  In our case it’s happening over and over again.   We are now a wireless household, including phones, T.V.s and computers.  We each have cell phones (of course), iPods, and we each have our own wireless computers.  We both love music, though The Royster takes it to a new level.  He’s making sure that we have a mode of music for each computer, each room of the house, including the garage and the deck in the back yard and each vehicle.  Who woulda thunk it back in the 60’s, when we were proud of our 8 track tape players?

When we go into Fry’s, The Royster has to make a special promenade around the speaker section of the store.  He’s particularly impressed with the tiny little Bose speakers.  For the past twenty plus years, I have observed him drooling over electronic equipment.  I know that that if he touches the merchandise, he will fondle it, thereby ensuring that he will be buying it.   I suspect he’s secretly thinking of a way to make all the toilets in the house musical.  Sit down on the toilet seat and you trigger the toilet stereo.  Imagine, if you will, Bachman Turner Overdrive blaring out Taking Care of Business just as you sit down.

Since this last purchase of the Sony Vaio computer, things have been tense around here for sure.  From experience, I could guess this transition from the old computer upstairs would not go without a few traumatic glitches.  It’s never gone smoothly .  I guess the smoothest transition was when The Santa-Royster got me this wonderful Sony Vaio laptop for this past Christmas.

I digress.  The transferring of files from the old computer started out smoothly enough.  I knew to leave him alone, but be available to help if he asked for it.  The problems started when he started trying to install the programs that we use.  Quicken would NOT cooperate.  There was just no way.   After much scrapping, we found a phone contact number for tech help that he finally called.  The guy really wasn’t supposed to help him with this particular problem, as he was to pass it on to a more specialized person, uhh … for a fee.  But he did help, and very cheerfully at that.   The Royster was very pleased.

This process of transferring information continued on throughout the next few days….frustration after frustration.  I had been tempted to take him bottled water and a pillow, but fought that urge, knowing that it wouldn't be helpful.  The best thing for me to do was to leave him alone, and listen patiently to his laments.  Comments were not required, nor solicited … just listening. 

Last night, as soon as he came home from work, he trotted upstairs to install the final programs.  I left him alone until dinner was ready, and he reluctantly came down. He was pale and gaunt.  I could tell he’d been struggling.   As soon as dinner was over, he went back to his Computer Cave.  Hours went by, and I finally showered and got into bed.  I dozed, thinking he’d be down soon.  Sure enough he came down and almost in tears.  “I’ve ruined my new computer!  It's just ruined ... I just know it!”  Apparently, while installing a disk burning program, several programs and files just flat disappeared.  How totally devastating, to think that he would have to do it all over again, that is, IF the computer was not completely ruined.  I listened and told him that I didn’t think he had ruined his computer.  He was completely inconsolable.  His heart was breaking.  He went back to his Computer Cave to brood and fret.

Sure enough, just a little after 11 p.m. he came trotting in, almost glowing in the dark.  I woke with a start Oh, my Gawd!  He’s fixed it!  “I fixed it!”  He glowed.  What a relief.  I really wouldn’t have know what to say or where to hide if his brand new computer had truly been ruined.  I listened while he gave a gleeful blow-by-blow and step-by-step account of how he had fixed the ruined computer.  “I’m so happy, I could just shit!” he said.

I was so relieved that I would not be driving him to the hospital, that I almost completely forgot about the wireless Canon printer that he purchased the same day he bought the computer.  He’d still need to hook that up and install it in the newly saved wireless computer.  I didn’t have the heart to mention it.  Instead, I just let him expound on how he had saved the computer from total ruin, until he finally dropped off to sleep….still muttering with a smile on his face, “I fixed it!  I fixed it!  I fixed it!  I fixed……”

THE OLD BUCKET LIST

What An Excellent Idea!

  

NO, I am not on my death bed, or even ill.  I am not a morbid person; nor am I entertaining the notion that death is near.  No fear there.  Everyone knows that we start to die the moment we are born, if you want to look at it that way.  I prefer to see it as the beginning of a journey, and I see that I have quite a bit further to go.  We also know that  no one  knows when their number will be up, so I’ve decided to get serious about what should be accomplished in the years I have remaining.  I am not done YET.  I’ll say when I’m done.

Anyone, at any age can start a Bucket List, and the sooner the better.  That way you can get a head start on it and add to it.  I think it’s an excellent idea.  Certainly, everyone past the age of 50 should have a Bucket List, and update it frequently. I’m sure that I will be adding to my list as these notions occur to me.  So get your Big Chief Tablet and get busy.   

SO, here I am at 62, finally throwing down a Bucket List on cyber paper.  The thought occurred to me this morning after receiving a video from one of my cousins.  The video was of the rider and horse at the end of a bullfight.  I’m not an advocate of bullfighting at all, but this caught me off guard, as to the artistry, skill, grace and beauty of the rider and the horse (Caballero), and how the horse and rider were one.  It was beautiful.   This did not make me want to go to a bullfight.  On the contrary, I wanted to see the Royal Lipizzaner Stallions of Austria. I have never seen them in person.  That made me think of all the things I’d better put on my Bucket List.  I will not be numbering this list, as there is no particular order in which I must accomplish these “items”.

I am not interested in anything that will rush me to the end of my bucket list before I’ve really gotten a start on it.  Skydiving is out, as well as any kind of martial arts, bungee jumping, race cars, motorcycle stunts, or being a stunt person in a movie.  And, no, I will not be running with the bulls in Pamplona, Spain.

I won’t be getting neck rings, lip plates, body piercings or tattoos; nor will I be having any kind of cosmetic surgery.  I’ll make due with the many pots and jars that line my side of the bathroom sink. My take on that is try everything and never give up.  I figure if I take care of myself, I’ve got about 20 years to do this. 

Bearing all of this, and my list in mind, I will accept suggestions, and of course, invitations!  If I happen to do something spectacular that isn’t already on the list, or learn a new language or acquire a new skill in the process, then I will add it to my list as accomplished.  No, that’s not cheating.  I will get this list started, and then see how it compares to The Royster’s list.  This is going to be fun!  Let the journey continue!

Do a kindness for another every day

Clean out everything in the house, and pare down to “must keeps”.

Have a huge garage sale – Give the rest away

Move to a small community and get involved.

Get something published

See the Royal Lipizzaner Stallions

Maybe ride an elephant

Pan for Gold, and look for other treasures

River rafting

Hot Air Balloon Ride

Helicopter ride

Visit the Big Arizona Meteor Crater

Ride a Cable Car

Go on a Cruise

Visit Alaska and fish for salmon

Drive up the New England Coast line in the Fall

Visit all my family on both sides of the Mason Dixon Line

Camp out to see a meteor shower and/or a lunar eclipse.

Travel to at least one foreign country.

Take a month long “See America Trip” in a motor home.

Well, there it is.  It’s just a starter list, and subject to change, if only because I’m a woman, and I can do that.  Have a look at it and start your own list.  It’s okay to borrow ideas from someone else.  After all, no one has cornered the market on any of the above, and I could never tell anyone that it’s strictly MY list.  

When you’re done with your list I’ll show you mine if you’ll show me yours.

I’ve always wanted to say that.