LATE LIFE WISHES AND REGRETS

Hindsight 

This is about FLYING PIG WISHES.  I call them that, because Flying Pig Wishes are comprised mostly of hindsight. "A dream is a wish your heart makes."  or so Walt Disney says.  I guess I'm addressing my contemporaries as well as the generations that we've produced.

I wish I'd been the person who ... invented the road reflectors that divide lanes on the highways, or even maybe the words on a pencil that says, "USE TO HERE", or just pencil erasers?  What about the lumbar mechanisms in car seats? And what about personal computers and the Internet?  What about the person that invented SPELL CHECK?  I still think there's room for improvement on that.  And, what if, I'd become a physician, a serious writer, an artist, a musician, or even an ASTRONAUT? 

Reflecting back, I can recall a few of the "inconveniences" of our generations' lifetime.  The rotary dial on the phone, the long straight cord that enabled us to hide in the closet for some privacy on the phone (easily detected), having to defrost the refrigerator freezer, having to iron EVERYTHING, manual typewriters, typewriter erasers and whiteout, dress codes at school.  There was no central air in any of the schools I went to.  There were big ol' fans, windows and radiators.  We adjusted, but sometimes it was just horribly inclement.
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Possibly, I've almost become the person I was meant to be in this life, and hopefully I've done some good and/or made a positive difference in someone's life.  I HAVE learned that if you can't help someone, don't hurt them.  Just be kind.  Try to give people the benefit of the doubt.  Give back what you have been given or learned.  Be honest without being hurtful.  Teach your children to be good, generous, helpful and kind.  This is mostly accomplished by example.  Well, that's a start, and as long as I'm upright and breathing there's still time.  Live, love, learn, teach and give back.  My path is still open and I'm still here.

TAOS CANYON ADVENTURE!

( And Puck, Puckster, Puckerino, Puckus Maximus)

It was emotionally draining when we had to have our beloved 17-year-old Blue Heeler mix, Hank put down.  We vowed not to ever have another dog.  After all, we would be traveling, and we just couldn’t do the heart break again.  It’s just not fair that we out live our furry family members.  It’s just too hard. So, we just moved on without a pup in the house.  The undercurrent of a void in our lives was always there. 

We had been thinking about a place to retire, and after cruising real estate listings, the Royster found a listing for a house in Taos, NM that seemed ideal for us.  It had been on the market for over 2 years, and I wondered why.  We talked about it and agreed that we would take a roadie to NM to check it out.  We made plans for our trip and contacted a realtor.  Actually, there were two houses to look at. One house sold before we could see it, so that left the one in the Taos Canyon.  Our Realtor drove us 6 miles east of town to a dirt and gravel road, turned right and there it was at the top of the hill.  As we drove into the driveway my mouth quite involuntarily shot out, “So, this is ours?”  Royster shot me a look, and I clammed up until we got in the house.  Shazam!  It had a huge wooden front porch, and a double front door with brass address plate on it declaring the address.

The interior was still furnished, and the house was impeccable.  A single story, two bedrooms, two baths, and a huge studio.  The kitchen was as big as our kitchen in Spring, TX.  It was extremely hard to maintain a neutral facade, because I was totally taken by the the huge utility room/pantry. It became obvious that this house was designed and built specifically for a retired couple.  It was just waiting for the right retired couple. That night, we talked about the prospect of moving, and the house we were quietly falling in love with.  We’d both spent most of our lives in Texas, so this was going to be a big deal.

We drove back to Texas, trying not to get too excited about the prospects of moving into that perfect house.  We got back home, unpacked, had dinner and went to bed.  The next morning, Royster smiled, and asked, “Do you want move to Taos, NM?”  Oh, be still my heart!  “Yes, I do!”  He called the realtor and told her that we wanted the house, and on what conditions and price.  We got the ball rolling.  Within less than a month, we sold most of our furniture (and bought furniture for the living room and guest room and made arrangements for a moving van to show up and take us away to Taos, New Mexico.  The fact that this all took place in less than 4 weeks, from packing up, cleaning our house in Spring, and moving into our home in Taos.  We down-sized our belongings once again after we moved in.

 

We have five neighbors, all of whom stopped by to welcome us while we sat in the driveway watching the movers take our household goods into the house.  A beautiful female red heeler wandered up and sat next to my chair for about 30 minutes.  She was so sweet, and I’m sure she was welcoming us.  That made me miss our Hank so much, and I wondered who she owned.  I later found out that she owned our neighbor, Jill, just below us.

 

This is our third winter here in the Taos Canyon.  Our neighbors have all become our good friends, and some seasonal renters are in and out with the seasons.  They are our friends too.  Still there was something missing.

Over the summer, our neighbor Jill went to the local animal shelter to find a companion for her red heeler, Daney.  She arrived home with her new companion, Puck, and she brought him up for proper introductions.  He was so funny, a little more than a year old, and aptly named for the Sprite in A Mid-Summer Nights’ Dream.  He spent more time at our house than with Jill and Daney.  I think he automatically picked us as family as well, as he spent most of his time with us, playing with his new litter mate, Roy.  After a couple of months, Jill came up to tell us that she had to return Puck to the animal shelter because she couldn’t control him.  Roy and I felt sorry for the little guy and talked about going to get him.  Well…. we did the next morning.  We brought Puck home with us. 

Since then, he’s really been a good dog for us.  He can be very naughty on occasion, by playing “catch me if you can”, and that’s pretty frustrating.  A few days ago, I went out in the cold and snow to call him.  It was time to feed him, and just didn’t show up when I called.  Finally, I looked out the kitchen window.  There he was hiding behind my truck, and peeking around the corner…. laughing.  I could almost hear, “Oh, this is so funny!”  Since then, I’ve bought a dog whistle that he seems to respect, and he comes running home immediately.

Here we are in our third winter.  The temperature is 11 degrees this morning, we’ll get the pot-bellied stoves cranked up and get about our day.  We had 8” of snow yesterday.  Royster has decided to crank up the snow blower and clear out the driveway, and the dirt and gravel road behind our vehicles.  Puckster is curled up by the pot bellied stove in the studio, no doubt dreaming of snow angels and his next meal.  He owns us now.

WHO ARE WE AND WHY ARE WE HERE?

WHO ARE WE AND WHY ARE WE HERE?

I love to watch the History Channel and Ancient Aliens.  It always begs the questions, who are we and why are we here?  Everyone wonders from the day we acquire wonder and logic.  Some religions teach that we are not to question our existence at all.  Just Trust …. Have Faith.  Is there a God that would keep us from seeking knowledge and answers to our burning questions?  Sometimes, I guess, it’s none of our business until we are evolved enough to do something with these profound answers.

"Then put your little hand in mine
There ain't no hill or mountain we can't climb......Babe." - Sonny and Cher.

Science, Nature and Religion are slowly merging as we evolve into the people we are meant to be.  What if we are an experiment in a little petri dish? Were we planted here by aliens or “The Powers That BE”?  If so, our history as humans has evolved at an incredible rate.  Things we learned in school and at church about ourselves doesn’t jive with current science discoveries.  AND, how did our ancient ancestors make all the HUGE structures all over the world with such precision?  Examples have been studied and found to be almost impossible to have been produced without help from other sources. 

The Sphinx is a good example. This wonder has been found to be so much older than originally thought.  Original thought on the age would be about 5,000 years old.  Most recently, Egyptologists suggest that it was built by an advanced civilization and is more like 8,000 to 10,000 years old.  Anyone ever observe that there is a door by the Sphinx's right ear?  Also, that the Sphinx was once submerged in water.  There are so many questions about what’s in there, and what is its purpose?  This still doesn’t answer our questions.  We must take the initiative and the steps to discover what’s already here and put the puzzle pieces together.

What keeps popping into my mind is that possibly we have been put here to Live, Love, Learn, Create and Invent.  We are different from other beings on this planet. We have our thumbs, superior intelligence, we walk upright, and we have the gift of logic, and the absence of prehensile tails, just to mention a few human attributes.  This is NOT to say that other beings on this planet aren’t intelligent.  Just look at our super-dog, Puck.  He has us completely hornswoggled.

What about coincidental occurrences of huge events that are recorded in history as having happened at the same time all over this planet, i.e. deities in various cultures are recorded instruction, advice, lessons, rules and commandments.  There have been massive floods, and astronomical occurrences. And why did we ever think that we could be the only ones in our universe or anywhere else?

Is it enough to just be good, create good, be kind and lift up our fellow human brothers and sisters? Where does our energy go when our bodies have given up…...used and ravaged from our life’s’ missions and struggles here on this planet?  What of Heaven, Hell, Purgatory, and Limbo that we have been taught about?  Is there a waiting line to get into the most prime places after death to see the Face of God, or the ravages of Hell?  Does our spirit (energy) get recycled to Live, Love and Learn another time and place?  Or, does our energy/spirit wander aimlessly if we don’t qualify for any of the assigned places we are raised to believe in from birth?  These are the thoughts that buzz through my mind in the night and early mornings when I’m supposed to be sleeping. 

I still believe that there is a God, and that I am not She, and that my prayers are heard. And I offer my prayer request to The Powers That Be:  Please help me be kind, creative and loving in my remaining days; that I may do at least one kindness today, and every day.   My prayer for my friends, family and all others is that your most fervent prayers be answered. 

LEGGINGS

We moved here to Taos, NM almost 2 years ago.  I'll admit that it has not been an easy or graceful transition for me, as the altitude is about 7800'.  That's quite a stretch from the 50' elevation of Spring, Texas.  I do have some health issues involving breathing anyway.  Well, here's the deal.   My jeans, though they seem to fit fine are not the norm for this area.  Women (and some men) wear what's known as leggings.  Until now, I've been just wearing what I wore when we lived in Houston.  I just turned 70 in January.  I noticed that when wearing my jeans that I can't breathe when I bend over.  They sort of cut me in half.  Turning 70 made me more aware of things that have been relevant for a long time,l but magnified up here int he mountain canyon.  1.  Every little wrinkle.  2.  Cellulite.  3.  Breathing issues.  4.  My lack of exercise.  5.  ....and other health issues.  So (step 1.) I've followed "fashion trends" here in Taos, which is a very wide range and always very colorful.  Anything goes.  I ordered 5 pairs of leggings in assorted colors.  

Today I donned the darkest pair....dark navy.  I believe I'll be needing some more longer tunic tops to cover my assets, especially as it's really cold up here in the winter, and you could freeze your assets off if you don't cover your tender vegetation.  WOW!  They really feel good!  I knew I'd get some stares from the Royster, so I went ahead and asked, knowing he'd go for saving his own ass by saying "You look just fine....."  and he did.  That was really the best he could do, considering what he had to assess and comment instantly.  He was fast.  I mentioned that all of the women we know up here in the canyon are wearing them, and they're our age.....I think they look terrific! 

Non-the-less, I still feel a little self conscious wearing these.  Part of my plan was to have them to wear to a Yoga class or Pilates class.  It hasn't happened.....yet, but my intentions are good.  Did I say they feel great?  The biggest trial is getting the sincere opinions of my girlfriends.  After all, they wear them too, for every day.  

So, here goes.  I've come to the conclusion that I don't look terrible in these leggings, and I've become accustom the climate, and the "Taos Way" in the short time we've lived here.  Now it'll be interesting to see what our grandchildren think.  

FLYING PIG WISHES

MENA’S WISDOM

I woke up this morning at about 3:00 with these words tramping through my mind, “Flying Pig Wishes”. It was very compelling. So, I tossed and turned thinking about what the message could be in that gifted thought from my dreams. Finally, I pried myself from the sacred sleeping place and cranked up the coffee pot. Still, Flying Pig Wishes haunted me. What could it mean? Let’s see……                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             There are prayers, wishes, dreams, hopes and now, Flying Pig Wishes. Here’s what I’ve sorted out so far.   Prayer is talking to and/or meditating with a higher power or God. My daily prayer usually begins with “Please help me do a kindness for at least one person today.” As we all know, the rule here is that the kindness must be deliberate and untold / touted. No telling anyone else. Wishes are illusive (to attain). “A wish is a dream your heart makes.” Little will happen unless you take the steps to make it so.Dreams, to me, are messages from day-dreaming or sleep-dreaming. If you are lucky enough to remember to write it down, you can have something to chew on all day long. That’s why I write.   Hopes are like wishes, in that little will happen unless you take the steps to make it so.                                                                                        

So, I’m thinking that Flying Pig Wishes are a combination of all the above. And 

again, nothing much will happen unless you make the effort to make them so. FPW’s 

are a bit far-fetched, but not impossible. Unlikely attainment comes to mind. Non-the-less, 

it IS what it IS.   It’s okay to be self-indulgent with these FPWs. So, I got to work thinking 

up 3 or 4 FPWs that I could work on. Health came to mind here; breathing, vision, sharpening 

mind, and scouring my spotted soul. Again far-fetched. Here are some things I came up with to 

help fulfill my FPWs. 

                                                 

1. Regarding my breathing, which is impaired by COPD and long-ago surgery to deal with lung 

cancer will be a challenge. We also moved from 50’ above sea level to about 7800’ above sea 

level. I think I’ll look up some Yoga classes. 

2. Vision impairment is age related, and some cataracts moved in, but there was a tumor 

complication that has since been dealt with. I’m going to consider Lasik. We’ll see how that 

goes.

3. Sharpening my mind means staying busy and interacting with others. Also, Yoga will be 

a big help. 

4. Walking daily and meditating will be a big help for all the above.

Back porch sitting is a big part of our new life here in Taos. It’s magical, and messages abound with every new experience. I still here the trees talking. 

I know that sounds crazy, but I am the only one I’ve ask (so far) that can hear this natural music that these trees make. It’s more soothing than unsettling. I think it’s part of the enchantment and charm that’s connected with this part of our country. 

I will continue with my prayers, wishes, dreams, hopes and FLYING PIG WISHES. And, hopefully, through these I will be able to continue doing at least one kindness a day for at least one other person every day. Long live FLYING PIG WISHES! Make it so.

EARLY AWAKENINGS

Yes, it's 3 a.m., and I'm awake.  I tried to go back to sleep, but, like an old Briggs Stratton engine that continues to rev, even after it's been turned off I'm wide awake.  I had to start writing because everything's fresh, and racing. soon I'll be busy loading up my suitcase to pack into the car for our Christmas pilgrimage to Omaha to share the festivities with our daughters and grandchildren.  It's true that our brains function much better in the early waking moments.

Back to my racing brain.  Royster and I discussed with one of our new neighbors yesterday about how we have a basic core knowledge by which we know more than we suspect we know.  I know that sounds a bit deeeeep, but I'm sure it's true of all of us.  We have a basic knowledge of everything.  I think that sometimes, we don't know how to tap into it.  When I wake, my brain signals that there are things to do, and things to look up, because my mind is that curious as soon as I wake up.  

Just an example, is this morning.  ZING!!!!!!  Wakey, wakey!   Royster was awake too, and he graciously got up to turn on the coffee.  Sitting here with my first cup of coffee, I turned on my home page newsy stuff.  While I reminded myself that we wouldn't be able to sit here long this morning before embarking on our journey to Nebraska; I scanned through some of the headlines.  Hmmmmmm.......a new prehistoric creature was discovered........Angelina's divorce papers reveal.......Mass firing in the senate...........U.S. refineries.    I check out the massive prehistoric creature, apparently newly discovered in Montana.  Wonder how big its brain was.....apparently related to the triceratops.  Well, that ought to get me ready for our trip.

I am excited about our Christmas trip, and am so relieved that I have everything bought, wrapped and cookies made.  This is going to be a wonderful Christmas trip.  Let's get this show on the road!

More as the season takes us to the New Year. 

I STILL GET EXCITED ABOUT CHRISTMAS.

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!   

THE GUMDROP TREE (Brenham, Texas 1951)

The Gumdrop Tree

(Brenham, Texas 1951)

           

     “He told me you’d come, and Lawd, here you are, Child!  I’ve been waiting out here for you!  I made you this pretty gumdrop tree!”   It was small white limb from a tree that she had cleaned off and stuck gumdrops on the end of each branch and twig.  It was beautiful and very alluring to any child!

            I must have been 3 years old.  Dad was a salesman for Corning Glassware, and he had been transferred to Brenham, Texas.  I remember the old house as plain as day; a white Victorian style built on a rock bed summit.  The road in front to the house was graded.  There was an old black man everyone called Sargent that rode his horse down the graded road, and pulled a pony behind him for any child to ride for a nickel.  He also whistled a tune, but I don’t recall what it was.  I got to ride the pony once after I’d pestered Dad to ride so many times.   That was my very first smell of horse.  He actually made a big production out of it, pulling and squeezing his nose until a nickel fell out.  “You kids are going to drive me to the poor house!”    

  

             I climbed the wooden steps up to the old woman’s front porch.  She chattered happily and handed the gumdrop tree to me, which I gladly took and started eating the gumdrops.  I couldn’t believe that this woman was giving me candy on a tree!  I sat on that old woman’s front porch and talked to her until she told me that my mother was probably worried about me.  The old woman cautioned me not to eat too many gumdrops, that it would spoil my appetite before for dinner.  I scooted down the wooden steps on my bottom with the tree in my hand, and skipped back up the graded road to the house happily carrying the gumdrop tree high in the air.  I was eager to show it to my sisters and Mom and Dad.  I was greeted with an admonishment from Mom, who was in tears and very angry with me.  “I had no idea where you were!”  “Where did you get that?”  “I’ve told you never to talk to strangers!”  I tried to explain that a nice lady gave it to me, but she cried and fussed even more; and the gumdrop tree was taken away.  “Who knows what’s on it?   My young world was forever changed.  I will note right here that I do understand why she took it away.  Polio was rampant at that time, and Mom sterilized everything.

            
             There were two women that came to the house two or three days a week to help Mom with the laundry, housekeeping and managing 4 children.  She was pregnant with number 5 and it was hard to keep up with that many and see to the upkeep of the family and house.  They were Dozzie (for Dorothy) and Marie .   I remember too, we all went barefooted playing in the yard.  We were cautioned stay in the yard and not too close to the graded road.   I remember going to the edge near the road.  I’d stepped in a big red ant bed.  Dozzie came running out to rescue me.  She started gently swatting the ants off of me.  I thought she was mad at me and started crying.  She carried me in the house, and dotted my ant bites with Calamine Lotion.  Though I was just scared, Dozzie soothed me and told me to stay closer to the house where she could see me. 

           
              Dozzie and Marie had 2 milk cows that they often brought to graze in our yard.  I remember them drinking water out of our big square, galvanized tub that they sometimes bathed us in.  Dad managed to squeeze three of us (Joanie, Ann and me) in that tub for a picture.

           

              I think about this part of my life often, though it was about 64 years ago.  I believe it’s a gift that I can remember things so distant in my childhood so vividly.  I have many, many memories like this, and I wish my older sister, Joanie was still here to reminisce about these old memories. 

FOOD PORN AND SPANX

FOOD PORN AND SPANX

Roy finally retired a little over a year ago.  We've always loved our road trips, and have taken many.  But, when he retired we doubled our time on the road with his retirement agenda, which is photography.  He bought me a wonderful little Canon with automatic as well as manual capabilities.  I’m having a ball with it, but I don’t have the patience to mess with anything more complicated.  My gifts lie right here with my writing, and whatever “project” I have going at the time.  Right now, it’s beading, and that’s subject to change.

Our travels have taken us to new levels of dining.  With Facebook, it’s taken on a new dimension.  I realize that one only need post a phone photo of food to start a firestorm of Food Porn on FB, and I am loving it!  How much fun is that?  With our traveling, the menus and venues are so diverse that it’s imperative that I share it with my friends and family.  I love the responses of online recipes and drooling.  WHAT – A – HOOT!  I automatically “share” these recipes just so they will show up on my timeline/personal page……just in case I want to make them.  Be assured I’ll do the cream cheese cherries and coca cola cake recipes.  Come on!  Bring ‘em!

This brings me to the reasoning of body image vs. Food Porn.  I've been pretty good about keeping my weight down to a reasonable weight for my 5’9” frame of 65 years old.  NO, I will not tell you what that is, but be assured; it hasn't varied much over the past 5 years one way or the other.  Here’s the thing………..It just relocates.  Annnnnnddd, the cottage cheese effect remains wherever it relocates. It never leaves from my thighs.  I used to find this very distressful; however, I’ve finally started accepting the fact that I’m 65, and (though inside I am still 26 years old), my body is going to do this with, or without my permission or my efforts to keep it down to my 26 year old weight and shape. That’s just not going to happen.

Which then brings me to this………..I finally caved in and bought some SPANX.  After having watched all of the female news people stand or sit in front of the camera, I've wondered how they can stand there in those tight little dresses and skirts without first smoothing everything out with the SPANX.  I know that they cannot all have these sleek lines naturally. 

The price tags are still on them (2 pieces), but I’m going to use them first to sort through my closet to see what I can squeeze into, and what is absolutely out of the question, EVER!  At least I can contain all of this stuff in a tighter “skin”.  There will be no mirror in front of me while I struggle into the revered SPANX.

Soooooo……I’m going to venture into trying on this new “skin”; but I need some encouragement.  Maybe I’ll step on the scales…….haven’t done that in a couple of months.  That should be some incentive.  Maybe I should talk to someone (my age) who’s successfully ventured into the SPANX world.  But FIRST, I’m going for a Mani-pedi just to get me started.  That should at least make me feel better about getting on the scales.

And….by the way.  I’m making that coca cola cake tomorrow!

OH, THE THINGS WE'VE SEEN, THE THINGS WE'VE DONE...

Our retirement has taken us in so many directions.  Royster has chosen photography as his retirement occupation. He's really serious with it, and has even given up his beloved 28 year old Harley Davidson to take on this love for photography.  He has an eye for a good picture, and takes some excellent photos.  Royster bought me a really nice little camera that has both manual and automatic settings to mess with, so that I can join him in this venture.  I'm really happy with it, as it takes excellent pictures, and, thankfully, not too many buttons  to do too much to get the picture I want.  I like to snap pictures of things that aren't likely to run away quickly.  And, for the record, these photos are mine! 

For the past year, we've taken on a "See America First" tour.  Admittedly, we've dipped into Canada to see what's there.  It's been totally worth it, as there is some of the most beautiful, unspoiled country up there that I've ever seen.  Though in September, the weather on Vancouver Island, B.C. was pretty nippy.  We were able to go on a bear tour to photograph bears, eagles, dolphins and whales.  We were not disappointed at all on any account.  We also stayed in a cabin at Tofino on Vancouver Island.  I was intrigued with the whole thing. It was all so beautiful.  The beaches were pristine, and there were things I'd never seen down here on the Gulf Coast. In the mornings, I'd don a coat, flip-flops and grab my camera to take pictures of tidal pools.  There were lots of sea anemones, starfish and muscles.  There were gulls, crows and ravens that had no fear of humans.  We did witness crows and ravens take advantage of a picnic basket that had been left for a brief time while the owners explored the beach.  What a huge mess the birds had left.  I have to chuckle at the birds, after witnessing what humans leave behind along the roadsides.

Also, in the past year, we've been from coast to coast; and it never ceases to amaze me that there is so much we take for granted ... things we just don't see on a day-to-day basis.  On our last trip, we "cut a circle" from South Dakota, Montana, Wyoming, Colorado, and New Mexico.  We've been there before, but we always see things we haven't seen before.  In every place we've been. I've always encountered the beautiful Ravens.  At Bryce and Zion, they've followed me around from station to station to get the crackers that I carry in my pockets; clearing the parking lots by pecking at fenders and bumpers of cars that had just pulled up.  As fierce as they look, they gently take the crackers from my fingers.  They will call  from 80' up on a dead tree to talk.  All a person has to do is answer them.  They will talk...tell all.  I feel very drawn to these beautiful avian creatures.

As we drove through the Tetons and Yellowstone, there were the beautiful elk and buffalo.  We bowed to their right of way.  Everyone should see this.  Again, this is stuff you just don't see while sitting at your computer, or at your local mall.

On one afternoon, we were blessed with buffalo commandeering the road.  We bowed to their  strength and ownership of the space.

I think we'll be heading east on our next tirp...or will we?  We'll be talking about this through Thanksgiving.  We've been east before, but there is a lot we haven;t seen....Maybe the upper east coast will hold more discoveries in the spring.

Between the two of us, we've taken thousands of pictures.  Some of the best are the wild life photos, but there are also candid shots of people, and the joy they experience daily.  I'll have to post some of those too.  In the mean time.  We're planning our next adventure.   

Television originally started out as a means of entertainment, and quickly developed into “entertainment with sponsors to pay for the air time”.  There was Annie Oakley telling us all about Wonder Bread with the red, yellow and blue balloons on the wrapper.  There was, “N-E-S-T-L-E-S….Nestle’s makes the verrry best, Chooooocolate!” Those ads prevailed, but they never interrupted the program too many times for very long.

However, I just saw several ads in a row that are aimed at people to make them unhappy with themselves, or to scare them in order to sell a product.  If you drink juices or sodas, your teeth enamel will soften and wear away, the ad tells you to buy a certain toothpaste to “prevent this”, if you must drink juice or soda.  Another ad showed a woman with spots on her skin…obviously altered in by the magic of photo-shop technology.  The kicker is that she was holding a Dalmatian puppy, to accentuate the dreaded “spotty skin”.  These ads start working on women as early as the age of 25 about their wrinkled skin.  Another ad brags that it can cover up your unsightly grey hair.  I have seen an ad that uses alligator images to promote skin moisturizers.  Yet another ad was simply the capper on my day.  ARE YOU PLAGUED WITH FEMININE ODOR?  Fine!  So, I have unsightly spotty skin….grey hair, and unwanted feminine odor.  I should be totally unlovable and must run out to buy all the products that will make me more desirable and lovable.

Since TV ads run about 9 min. for every three minutes of actual programming, television is no longer for our entertainment and/or education.   It’s all about how many sponsors will pay how much to place an ad that will draw consumers in.   There are the ads for drugs that include disclaimers that are longer than the ads for the product themselves. These ads claim to put you to sleep, wake you up, clear up your depression, sinuses, acne, give prolonged sexually activity, and/or fix your leaky bladder.  On the downside, these disclaimers say that you should be aware that any one of these products could cause symptoms that might give you unwanted brain tumors, unwanted facial hair, sleep walking / driving, and discomfort after more than 4 hours, tendencies to suicide, farts, fits and freckles, and possibly death.  What could the FDA be thinking to approve all of that crap?!!  Oh! …There it is … MONEY.  It’s marketing smoke and mirrors aimed at getting you to part with your money.  Obviously, they convince some people that they NEED this crap.

It used to be that doctors, lawyers and pharmaceuticals (besides Alka-Seltzer, Pepto-Bismol, Milk of Magnesia and Bayer Aspirin could not advertise on TV.  When the law was passed ; and I don’t know exactly when that sneaked up on us, it opened up a huge can of worms….or a Pandora’s Box.  The ambulance chasers just grind my teeth, and media that reports crazy claims…..”Coffee is bad for you!”….”No!  Coffee is safe now!”…. “No!  Coffee is GOOD for you,”  Some of the hysteria attempts are just downright hysterical!  One woman declares that the shape of hot dogs and bananas should be changed because 2 year olds can choke on them.  What about pickles?  What about using common sense when feeding your 2 year old?

Since we live in a country that allows Americans to sue anyone for anything, everyone seems to have to cover their assets.  Nothing is advertised that there isn’t a disclaimer included, or a long list of exceptions to the rule.

The food industry is totally busted on this smoke and mirrors advertising.  Everything is processed so much that there is little nutrition left in anything.  They aim and promote the unhealthiest foods at children.  Everything that they want you to buy is placed strategically at eye level, and they even psychologically map out your path through the store, so that, If you don’t know any better than to just go for what you have on your list, they will take you into the interior of the store, where they have the most expensive impulse items.  Meanwhile, you are their salve, and will pick up at least 10 unplanned items.

There are no more “Mr. Woods”, who drove down the street ringing a cowbell to sell his home grown vegetables;  no more local milk trucks, or local bread makers to deliver the freshest and healthiest foods.  You must go to a grocery store and follow their arrows to buy the product that will pay them (the grocer) the most to put on the shelves of that grocer.

I haven’t even gotten into the rant I have stored up about the “Free Sample” industry, which will send you a “free sample” if you pay for (via credit card) the shipping and handling.  If you don’t make plans to send it back (unused portion) within a certain allotted time, they will charge you $80.00 for the next monthly installment.  I do have to stop there.

Let’s just get real about this.  Squint your eyes and see through all of the ads, and then do what you know is best….and I wish it was just that simple.  Meanwhile, we are barraged with the sales pitches of today’s industry.  These days, we can record the programs we want to see, and either fast forward through the ads.  And, I think we can even record them sans the ads, which would be my choice.  Or, we can do what we used to do, and use the commercials to get up and do something else until the commercial is over.  That one always worked for me.

IT’S ALL ABOUT CHOICES WE MAKE

I love Morgan Freeman.  He has a spot on our Science Channel (Through the Wormhole) which explains so much about humanity and discovery of science.  Today, he made me think about people I am related to, grew up with, interact with daily, and am challenged by every day.  It keeps me alive and sharp…well, I hope sharp enough to endure the next two decades I’m supposed to survive.  Morgan asks, “What does it really mean to be alive?”  My answer to that is, “WOW!”  Energy flows through everything!  Just how minute are we, and where do we REALLY live, come from, etc.?

Suffice to say that Morgan asks some really deeeeeep questions, and makes a person think and wonder about why we’re here.  I do not pretend to understand quantum physics; but, I can only get so far with what he says before my ADD takes over…..and I SO admire people who can really understand any kind of physics …universes that lie beyond the farthest reaches of black holes.  “The answers live in the hidden hearts of black holes.”  “Our universe may likely exist on an ever-growing tree of life.” Are you with me Phil?
To start with, we can choose to question everything and everyone we encounter.  Here are a few things we truly CAN choose.

Choose to:

           1. Study hard to make good grades
          2.  Ask Questions and listen to others
          3.  FINISH school
          4.  Go to college
          5.  Learn to save and invest your earned money to match what you want in life,
          6. Participate in life
           7. Volunteer
           8. Be kind to EVERY one – EVERY day.
          9.  Like what you have and have what you like
      10.  Choose to be happy every day!  You are in charge of your own happiness.
      11. CHOOSE not to judge others, even if you HAVE walked in their shoes.
      12. Realize that we can choose, and so can everyone else.  Who IS everyone else?
        13. Play a musical instrument, even if it’s consists of two, pencils pounded on a desk top.  Oddly                    enough, this is something I understand.
     
These are only a few thoughts that flew through my consciousness today that might make my life more organized, if not just a bit more simple.  Morgan has posed so many questions, that I can only believe that the universe has a brain, and thinks for us…every atom, every particle….

THAT CRITICAL SNEEZE

Sunday morning I had poured myself another cup of coffee and made half an open-faced peanut butter sandwich for Hank. No, not that the dog is spoiled at all; it’s just a trick. His pain pill is underneath the peanut butter. As I was walking back to the bedroom to give the special sandwich to the dog, I felt a sneeze coming on. This was going to be a Lu-Lu, and I was already walking over the living room carpet. I paused, crossed my right leg over the left one and braced myself for the explosion. It was indeed a big sneeze, but I was successful in maintaining the peanut butter and bread in my right hand and the coffee cup in my left hand … all without spilling a drop, or depositing the open-faced peanut butter sandwich onto the carpet. And, HAH! No leak! I’ve become very good at this. All of my contemporary women friends will know what this means.

Another scenario would be when you are shopping at the local grocery store and you hear someone close by start to sneeze. You look up and see a woman close to your own age, (Baby Boomer age), and you know what’s going to happen. The woman has crossed one leg over the other and bends at the waist while holding on to the basket. AaaahhhhCHOOOOOOOO! A violent sneeze erupts. The woman straightens up and continues on. She is actually smiling as though nothing has happened or maybe that she’s fooled someone. Let the shopping continue.

Let me tell you, plenty has happened. I could tell you in stages. First of all, she’s had at least one or two big babies. She’s probably in her 40’s or older, has worked at a desk for the past 20 years and the muscles in the floor of her abdomen have weakened significantly. Denial has taken its place in admitting that there could be a leaky bladder control problem due to prolapsed innards. This is not uncommon at all, but most women prefer to just say nothing about it. Who are we kidding anyway? This happens to men as well. I’ve just never seen a guy go through any contortions trying to keep from “loosing it”, except for maybe his hand in his pocket.

When I finally admitted to my doctor that this could indeed be a problem, if not a down right embarrassment, he recommend that I "just do these simple Kegel exercises". He told me that these can be done anywhere, at any time. You just contract your PC (pelvis cavity) muscles until they get tired, and then repeat the exercise. The doctor told me that these muscles are a ham hock-like muscle. Well, that just gave the whole situation a whole lot more dignity, and made it harder for me to keep a straight face, now that I have that image. When I do the exercise, I can just envision a ham hock down there. The doctor was quick to correct me.

“It’s hammock-like, not ham-hock-like.”

These exercises are easier said than done. First of all, these exercises require a certain amount of concentration, and if you’ve ever observed anyone thinking very hard about something they are trying to do physically (especially if you can’t see what they are doing), it’s a dead give away.


I tried doing these contractions while driving down the road, caught a look at my face of concentration in the mirror. What a hoot! Didn’t know I could make such faces. After a while, I decided against doing these exercises while driving, when I imagined getting pulled over. Actually, I decided not to do them in public … ever!

Sorry officer. No, I’m not in pain. I was just doing some Kegel exercises, and I must not have seen that stop sign.

They (doctors) say there is a very simple office procedure to remedy this. They can actually string it back up where it belongs. It would permanently fix this leaky problem. However, there are no office procedures any more. First you are sent to a urologist, who then sends you for a battery of tests, and more specialists. When they’ve finally exhausted all extra curricular examination, they will schedule you for out-patient surgery. I've also seen a number of ads about medications for this.  Have you seen/listened to the disclaimers about these medications?  It;s enough to give you a bowel problem.  So, I'm calling my trusted OB/GYN to see what she says about this.   Enough about that part. I’ll expound on that at a later date.

Okay, back to the critical sneeze. Now that you know what’s going on when you see a woman standing in the middle of a room, one leg crossed over the other and doubled over; your job is to turn your head and pretend that you just don’t see it. OR, you could just nod at her acknowledging that you’ve been there and done that.

Well, I guess your reaction to that vision just depends … Yikes! That just sent a chill up my spine! NO! I don’t wear Depends yet…………………… Yet! And, YET is a very big word.
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STILL GOOD TO GO!

As I woke this morning, my thoughts first went to the usual mind ruminations of the morning.  What time is it?  What day is it?  What is the date?  What’s scheduled?  Oh yeah, I paid Christmas bills yesterday…..Royster has an appointment this afternoon for the dentist.  I need to go look at a dress for a wedding.  Pick up prescriptions.  My eye doctor appointment has to be rescheduled.  It’s trash day…get it out to the curb.  Too cold to work in the yard … leftovers for dinner tonight.  The day awaits something new.

Royster woke early and went upstairs to his office.  I sat up and placed my feet on the floor.  After all of those waking morning thoughts trampled through my head, the thought occurred to me that I’m 64 years old…I’m upright, bleed when I’m cut, and can still cast a full shadow….so I must be fine.  I don’t hurt anywhere, and I have everything I need for the day.  I’m still good to go!  I smiled at this wry thought.  You’ve put yourself through a rough mill, old girl, but have always dodged the worst of it.  I’m still good to go!  I stood and padded to the bathroom.

I wondered what was in store for the day, daring not to project too far into my future.  I’ll just take what’s on my plate for today, Lord…Help me put this day to good use …. do a kindness for someone today.

The past several weeks seemed so long ago already.  I found myself unable to stop thinking about the recent past dramas and joys, all mixed in a strange potpourri, I decided to review the last few weeks…starting just before Thanksgiving.  Actually, it started months before, while we made plans for The Royster’s retirement and the big Retirement Vacation out west.  Things were getting close, as we had planned to start this vacation on January 5^th.  I decided to get some things tied up prior to this.  Getting a check up in order to have all of the age appropriate meds in hand while we’re on our big vacation was at the top of the list….an eye doctor visit was optional, but there was a distinct feeling that I needed to make sure I got my vision checked.   I called my “provider clinic” and made all of the appropriate appointments, and an unplanned appointment with the eye clinic there.  Strangely, I got an immediate appointment for the next day.

Somewhat apprehensive, but in a bit of denial that there was anything more than just an adjustment in my contact prescription; I sat in the examination room, eyes fully dilated and waiting for the doctor to come have a look.  Dr. Patel was a beautiful young woman.  She was friendly, but at the same time very professional and thorough.  As she flashed the light into my eyes, she kept going back to look at my left eye.  I must have squirmed a bit, because she apologized for the discomfort the light was causing, and said that there was something there, and that I needed to have a specialist look at it immediately.  There was no way I could go that afternoon, so after some phone calling, an appointment was arranged with a retinal specialist in the medical center down town for the next morning.  Roy came home early, and we fretted together about what could possibly be there in my left eye.

 We arrived early at the retinal specialist’s office……….Every kind of test was run, pictures taken, ultrasounds, MRI’s, PET Scans through my clinic.  Finally, the thing in the back of my eye had a name.  There was a malignant melanoma in the retina in the back of my left eye.  How could this be?  Since I had had lung cancer before (8 years ago), I was examined for any cancer anywhere else in my body.  The good news was that there was no other cancer found anywhere else.  I was told that there was nothing I did to have caused this.  “Sometimes these things just happen.”  The doctor said.  I was sent to the go to man in the field to be treated.  The same imaging was repeated through his office.  By all rights I should still be glowing with radiation just from the preliminary imaging.

 

I was offered two scenarios of treatment.  One involved surgery to sew a patch of radiation on to the tumor…left on for a week, and another surgery to remove it.  It wasn’t new, but it had proved successful.  That just hurt thinking about it.  The second scenario was a relatively new procedure called a CyberKnife.  It was relatively painless, and a one-time treatment.  It involved making a mask to hold my head still and in place for a radiation laser to literally kill the cancer cells.  I chose the latter, CyberKnife treatment.

 

We had asked Dr. B. if we should cancel or post pone our vacation plans.  He said that the recovery time was only a couple of days, so the treatment was scheduled for January 3^rd … just two days before we were to leave for our vacation.   That having been arranged, I was oddly ready to get on with the Thanksgiving and Christmas preparations and celebrations, and tried to put off thinking about the cancer and the radiation treatment I would soon be having.

We went to Fredericksburg for Thanksgiving and enjoyed the festive shopping, photo ops and good food.  After a couple of days, we headed home to make preparations for Christmas.  We set up a Christmas tree outside on the deck, and decorated very little inside.  Got all the out of town mailings done and celebrated the season with friends.  Christmas came and went, giving way to the New Year.  My surgery date was ironically on my 64^th birthday, on January 3^rd.  I was ready.

I slept very little the night before the CyberKnife surgery, and after a brief snooze in the early hours, I woke with a bodacious headache and nausea.  There was not a chance I was going to let that keep me from this life-saving surgery.  I was sick for the entire hours’ drive to the CyberKnife clinic, and continued to throw up my toenails until they finally gave me an Oxycontin for my nausea, and then a Vicodin for the headache.  By the time they had me in a gown, I was pretty much like a silly beanbag.   I was no longer nervous, that is, until they shot my eye muscles and optic nerve with the anesthetic.  That hurt like hell.   And after one more round of MRI and CT scans before the surgery, they put the mask on me and buckled my head to the table; and I was left alone in the room with the robot that would shoot radiation via laser to the tumor in my eye.  A voice spoke to me over a speaker to announce that the laser would start and continue for about an hour.  I was to remain positively motionless for the duration (like I had a choice).  Let the cure began!  The procedure itself was painless, but none the less nerve-wracking.  After what seemed like an eternity, a cheerful voice came over the speaker again to announce, “All done!” 

Suddenly, there were people around me unbuckling my mask, and setting me free.  They raised me up and helped me into a wheel chair to a dressing room.  I don’t remember if I had help dressing, but before I knew it, I was being wheeled down the hall to Roy, who was waiting for me in the hallway next to an examination room. It was over, but I’d had so much adrenalin built up, there was nowhere for it to go.  All I could do was bury my face in his goose down vest and sob tears of release and relief.  It was over, and all I wanted to do was to go home and sleep off the rest of the pre-surgery happy meds.

 

The work of the CyberKnife was a success.  The cancer cells were zapped and are dead.  The tumor itself will shrink gradually.  I did not lose any vision at all, and I can still wear my contacts.  All is good again….and once again, I’m upright, bleed when cut and can still cast a full shadow.  I’m good to go.  We left on our vacation at 5:30 on January 5^th.  Westward hoooooooo!