YOU'VE GOT TO KISS A LOT OF FROGS And Other Observations in Life

While sitting in a doctor’s office waiting room, I thumbed through a lap full of magazines that I had taken from a stack on the table. I was hoping that just one of them would distract me from the traditional waiting room boredom. I was not waiting to see the doctor, but The Royster was in seeing his dermatologist, and I had come along for the ride, and I guess moral support for the dreaded visit.

Back to the magazines. Most of them had at least one good article that drew me to scan through, so scan I did. All of them seemed to offer lessons in life fodder. The first one was a magazine geared to giving hints and generally good ideas for making life easier. Good! I’m at the age where I’m ready to simplify everything, and I’m all for changes that make things better.

I came across an article about lessons in life. The very first one was very compelling. It suggested that if a couple is having a dispute (mild or nasty), they should hold hands as they hash it out. This is supposed to make it impossible to yell or scream. Well! I guess not; not while you’re laughing your ass off, snorting and trying not to bust a gut laughing in the process. Imagine, if you will, holding hands while having a fight with your husband about leaving the toilet seat up. You went to the bathroom in the middle of the night in the dark, and plopped your rear end right into the toilet bowl water. That’s grounds for a forehead smack with a heavy, blunt object. I certainly can see how that could lead to hysterical laughing, as well as preventing you from finding a heavy, blunt object to smack him with.

Another magazine offered that you should “trust your first instinct”. Usually, your first inclination (answer) is on the mark. In my experience, it isn’t always the right answer, but I’ve always learned from that too. If you have to guess, you haven’t done your homework.

“Don’t count your chickens before they hatch.” This takes on real meaning when you’re learning to manage money. It means that if you buy lottery tickets, don’t go out and buy a new house, car or boat in anticipation of winning. Do not spend the money you expect to get back in your income tax return. It sure could back-fire. Being optimistic is good, but do consider the odds, and wait until you’ve actually won the lottery, or have that tax return in the bank. You just don’t go buying things until you have the where-with-all to do so.

I’ve often heard, “It’s right here in black and white.” My take on that is, read only the black part. Do not try to read the white part between the lines. There is nothing there, and you will go blind.

Voltaire said: “Animals have these advantages over man: they never hear the clock strike, they die without any idea of death, they have no theologians to instruct them, their last moments are not disturbed by unwelcome and unpleasant ceremonies, their funerals cost them nothing and no one starts lawsuits over their wills.”

Now, that’s really astute, and how very true. Perhaps we take our selves much too seriously. Take that as you will.

Ben Franklin said: “He that waits upon fortune is never sure of a dinner.”

My translation: Catch your own damn fish! Buy your own dinner!

And, one on worrying, “Just don’t. If there is nothing you can do about a bleak situation, do something else, and don’t waste your time fretting. In 24 to 72 hours, things will be different.” And that doesn’t promise things will be better; just different.

On doing the right thing. “If you don’t know the right thing to do, do the next right thing.” Someone is sure to tell you if it’s the wrong thing.

One of my own offerings is: “When you can forgive your parents for the way they raised you, you have finally reached a level of maturity, and can be considered grown up.”

Here’s an old one.: You've got to kiss a lot of frogs before you finally get your prince … or something like that. Well...Ain't it the truth?!  You will know when it’s the right frog. And, kissing him doesn’t make him a prince. And, furthermore, you can’t fix him.

And here’s another personal lesson I’ve learned.  “As you progress through the many passages in life, you should always leave the portals ajar just a little; just enough to peek back through.  No way should you actually go back, but you’ll want to see how far you’ve come in life.  You’ll see where you’ve been … where you came from.  If you can’t see where you came from, or the progress you’ve made, how are you going to know where you’re headed?”

Gandalf did not stand at the foot of my bed in the middle of the night and strike me wise.  I'm still working on the wisdom thing.  There are so many of these Life’s Lessons in magazines, on talk shows, and flying around on the internet.  A person could just pick and choose which ones they will pay any attention to.  Maybe that’s the problem.  If you haven’t learned them yet, then, perhaps you haven’t lived them …… yet.  And, YET is a very big word.