CURSE OF THE PURSE

It’s a given. The All American Girl/Woman loves to buy shoes and purses. I do love shoes, and have written a long dissertation about having to clean out my closet, and part with some of the shoe collection that I had acquired over the years. I don’t know of any woman who easily gives up any of her beloved shoes. I did end up keeping some that, if not in style, will soon be back. It is also assumed that all women also love purses, and that they (we) keep a large horde of purses in the closet at all times; one to match each pair of shoes.

Purses are burdensome luggage. I have a sister that doesn’t carry a purse. She doesn’t even carry cash. She carries whatever card she intends to use in her pocket, along with her keys, and a lip gloss. I don’t really like carrying all that stuff around with me, but I find myself doing just that; carrying around a bunch of stuff that I don’t need. Maybe I thought I needed it when I stuck it in there. When was the last time I came rushing forward in an emergency with an item that happened to be in my purse? Never, would be the answer to that. I find myself carrying a purse that can carry a cell phone, wallet, check book, credit cards, a bag within that purse of make-up repair items, comb, brush, small hair spray, possibly a small curling iron, hand sanitizer, hand lotion, chewing gum, cough drops, Pro-Air inhaler, a dozen assorted pens, a measuring tape, a compass (now really!), receipts from everywhere I’ve been in the past month, and wads of unused tissue that I thought I might need. Well it started out neatly folded and ready for any sneeze. This is not to mention all of the “crumbs” at the bottom of the purse, like safety pens, paper clips, wadded gum wrappers, and who knows what else. How did I ever fit a pack of cigarettes and a lighter in there back when I smoked? What was next ….. a pint of…oh, well never mind.

Every year, I decide that I need to pare down to a size that only carries barest essentials. Those little crocheted bags called The Sack are great. What a great start for the New Year. They are light, and it keeps me from loading unnecessary items into it that just won’t fit. The only make up I find I use during any busy day is lipstick…No, I take that back. I mostly use my Burt’s Bees lip balm. That’s even better. This is perfect. Only taking what I’ll need for the day requires that I think every morning, before leaving the house, about where I’ll be at any time during the day, and what I will need. The givens are, keys, cash, driver’s license, health insurance card, pen, perhaps one check, maybe a credit card, a couple of cough drops, inhaler, cell phone, and a pen. That should do it. There is a box of tissue in the truck. I’m all set.

This works for a while, but there are occasions where I will require a few more items, like when we went boating with friends a few weeks ago. Of course I would need sun screen, hair brush, face moisturizer, and some “enhancement” items, possibly some deodorant, a change of clothes. Okay, I got a big bag out and added all those items, and then just popped my little purse inside that. STOP! This is just what I’ve been trying to avoid, but it’s only for a day on the lake. After we got home after a day of boating, I dumped my huge bag in the chair in the kitchen, where it remained for the rest of the week end, only taking the small purse out to carry to the store a time or two.

And so, it started all over again with that burdensome baggage that the All American Girl/Woman carries around. The next week, I found myself loading the whole thing in the back seat of my truck to go to the store, and then just taking the little sack in with me. You never know when you will need a fresh change of clothes or sun screen after having cruised around in Kroger for 30 minutes.

We are taking our fall vacation to Utah in a couple of weeks. Needless to say I’m really stoked about it. My fashion sense has kicked in, as it does on rare occasions. I simply cannot carry that tiny, cream colored, crocheted sack in the fall in Utah, while hiking through parks and canyons. This thought gnawed at me for a couple of days last week until I just had to find something else more practical, and preferably something that made better fashion sense. I also needed a pair of brown jeans to go with the brown and pink tennis shoes that The Royster gave me a couple of years ago. Off to Kohl’s I went. On my list were 1) brown jean, 2) a practical top to match, and 3) a practical yet fashionable bag for trip.

On arrival at Kohl’s I went straight for the Ladies Jeans. Starting at the back wall, where the jeans are neatly folded in little cubicles on the wall according to size, I searched for brown jeans. I worked my way up to the front of that department and saw some very nice looking Gloria Vanderbilt stretch jeans, and in brown. I looked for my size, hoping that I had dropped back down to a more acceptable size. Then I looked for that same size in long. No luck, but I picked up a pair and started looking for a matching top. That didn’t take long. Found a light pull over knit brown, pink and cream…Perfect! I headed to the dressing room. I was pleasantly surprised to find that the jeans not only fit, but were long enough. What a bonus! I headed to the purses.

Not being much of an expert on purses, simply because I resent having to carry all that stuff, I didn’t know where to start. There was another woman in the area, looking at the kind of bag I was interested in. We chatted about which purses were practical and which were not…..Your guess is as good as mine. I finally saw one that I thought would fill the bill; a very nice, large brown, leather-like purse. The leather-like material was soft. Yes there were inside compartments for a cell phone, make-up and a slot for whatever I could fit in it. The strap was wide enough and soft enough that it wouldn’t cut into my shoulder. Off I went to buy my selections. I felt very fashion savvy, indeed.

Upon arriving home with my purchases, I carefully removed all the tags, and hung the jeans and knit top in the closet. I hung the purse on the back of a kitchen chair, so that I could see it and start planning what to put in it for the trip. The big straw bag that I had packed for the boat outing was still in the chair, filled with all the necessary items for outing, plus my little crocheted sack. I’ll just sort that stuff later.

Yesterday, knowing that we would be going out to eat with friends, I dutifully unloaded the straw purse, and stored it back in the top shelf of my closet. I threw away all wadded tissue, threw away or put away anything I didn’t want to load into the new bag, and started putting essentials into the new bag. I even put away the little cream colored sack; an awfully brave move for me. Into the new purse went cell phone, wallet with check book, all essential cards, hair brush, cough drops, two pens, make-up bag, Pro-Air inhaler, a pack of gum, pictures of grands, hand sanitizer and car keys. I hefted it up with my right hand to check the weight. Hmmmm. Yup! That’s about right. It could probably give someone a concussion. I opened it up and peeked in. Holy smoke! The only thing I could see was what my next purchase would be. Tomorrow I’ll go buy one of those small LED stick up lights to stick on the inside, just so I can see where I’m going in there. Satisfied with that, I went to dress for dinner.

At dinner, the other two ladies at the table commented on what a lovely new bag I had, and marveled at what a big girl thing I had done, not only in buying a new purse, but a big one. You see, they know me well enough to know how I hate carrying a bag at all, and how hard it was for me to buy a new big bag! "Awww, Sweetie, you did the big girl thing!" Thank you ladies, for understanding!