NEW-FANGLED ELECTRONICS & STUFF

The electronic computing era started way back in the late 40’s. In about 1956, my third grade science teacher, Miss Philips, predicted to the class that we’d be completely free of paper files by the year 2000. She also predicted that food costs would rise out of sight. She was right about the food, considering that a pack of cigarettes cost about the same as a loaf of bread back then, and that was about 15 to 25 cents. However, we have been reluctant to let go of our beloved paper files. They still exist in every home and business. As I write, I am sitting amid huge filing cabinets, hanging files and upright filing slots, not to mention stacks of files on the floor propped up against the wall with heavy objects.

Why are we so afraid to trust our computers to keep all of this? There are all kinds of computer capabilities. Besides, you can back up files every day if you want to. There are many occasions that require a hard copy, signed and actually in someone’s hands as proof of undying commitment. Why on earth can’t we make our signature once, scan it into the computer and use as it is intended? Some companies and organizations do accept this as a legal signature. I think we’re getting there slowly. Maybe in the future, computers will hold individual finger prints as legal signatures, if it's not already being done.

It took me some time to really get comfortable with computer generated work, but I was way ahead of my boss. In 1993, my boss, Arnie, was still holding his ground that his computer was a #2 pencil, and delete was the eraser on the end of said pencil. I swear he kept a Big Chief Tablet in his brief case. Any computer skills I had were wasted on an IBM Selectric II typewriter. Finally the day came. His boss in the home office in New Orleans (NOLA) required our office to be equipped with computers, and that Arnie would actually have his very own. And, horror of horrors, he would have to use it. Arnie displayed his terror in a fit of temper ... "How DARE they tell me how to run this office!” The man was clearly horrified. He didn’t have a clue as to how to operate a typerwriter keyboard, let alone one with all of those new-fangled buttons and commands. By that time, The Royster had bought our very first computer, and I’d been learning at home for about a year. Actually, I'd had a little computer experience on temporariy job assignments prior to going to work for Arnie at CBC.

The day finally arrived. A couple of computer techs showed up to install two computers; one for my boss and one for me. I was ecstatic, but with their arrival, Arnie disappeared to find a double martini at a near by club. I eagerly watched as the techs installed and instructed me briefly. I finally had a computer, but was still not very computer literate. I guess you could say I was pretty green, actually, but I was still much more computer literate than my boss. This was going to be fun. I knew I’d have to get some guidance from the girls in New Orleans. I’d made friends over there, and met them on monthly commutes to get caught up on barge activity and to get more training.

As soon as the techs left, I called my friend Cheryl, in NOLA to get some guidance. Arnie was missing out on all the fun. She asked for “permission” to view my computer screen and files. I said, “Sure. Go ahead!” She laughed and said that I had to give a command, and then she had to reply to that command. I don’t even remember how we did that, but she was finally able to see what had been installed in my computer, and help me set up files for things I’d be doing.

Finally, she said that we needed to set up my e-mail files so that I could keep in touch with everyone in the New Orleans Office. This was great! I asked her if I’d be required to show Arnie how to use his computer. She said that he would be going over to a little training session over there probably that Thursday and Friday.

Before all was said and done, I thought his training in NOLA wouldn’t arrive soon enough. He kept calling me into his office to show him how to do things as simple as type a letter. I told him to scribble out a letter for me to type, and I’d show him at my computer. He dashed out a letter, and we trotted out to my desk to get the letter typed. I propped up the scribbled letter, and started typing.

“Wait a minute!” he said. “Where did you put the paper?!" "You didn’t put any paper in the ... well, where the hell do you roll the paper in?”

I pointed to the printer, and told him that when I tell the computer to print the letter, it will be printed out there. I typed out the letter quickly, without checking it. This I did on purpose, so that he could red pen all of the mistakes. That had always given him so much pleasure in the past. He reached in his coat for his red pen. He actually kept a red pen in his pocket to mark other people’s mistakes ... not just mine.

“What the hell!?" "This computer is not good!" "Just look at all of these mistakes!” He railed.

“Just mark the mistakes, Arnie, and give it back to me to correct. "This is part of your lesson.” I said.

He did, and handed it back to me. I propped it up on the document holder, and began to correct the letter.

“Wait!” he said. “You’re correcting the wrong one!”

He pointed to the corrected copy on the document holder, and said, “That’s the one you’re supposed to be correcting! "Don’t you just stick it back in the printer?”

I’m sure he imagined that the printer had a little bottle of White Out ready to automatically cover up mistakes so they could be typed over.

“No, Arnie. You correct it here, and re-print it.” I said biting my cheeks to keep from laughing, because I was imagining him with blond hair.

So, until that Thursday, when Arnie would be going to NOLA for his official training, I had jump-started him on some of the basics of the word processing part of using his computer. His training day couldn’t come soon enough for me, because he was running me ragged.

On Thursday morning, I walked into a nice quiet office, and was actually able to get acquainted with my computer all by myself. I made letter templates, created tables to chart barge, movement and information on. Then I called NOLA to learn how to back up all my files. All was good, at least until Monday, when Arnie would be quizzing me again, so I savored this time alone with my very first office computer.